Dealing with childhood traumas that become adult traumas

WEBVTT100:00:01.679 --> 00:00:04.480Welcome back. Welcome back, cousinsand King folks. It is a new200:00:04.599 --> 00:00:08.320episode of your favorite Podcast, amind currently on the construction. I am300:00:08.359 --> 00:00:11.880your host, oldest. Thank youso much for joining us today. This400:00:12.039 --> 00:00:15.919is a bonus episode. I didis this is technically not your second episode500:00:15.960 --> 00:00:20.280for this week, but this isa bonus episode with just a little something600:00:20.320 --> 00:00:23.559on my mind and I just wantto take us, take an opportunity to700:00:23.640 --> 00:00:28.239stop through, talk to my cousinsand kin folks, just share a little800:00:28.239 --> 00:00:30.800bit with you. You know howI do sometimes, y'all. It's stuff900:00:30.839 --> 00:00:33.439bey on my mind. I justgot to get it out. So who1000:00:33.520 --> 00:00:37.560do I come talk to now?Come talk to Y'all, my people,1100:00:37.600 --> 00:00:41.960my folks, my community, mycousins and kid folks, and currently on1200:00:42.039 --> 00:00:46.200the construction listing audience. Y'All knowy'all, my people and I love y'All.1300:00:49.359 --> 00:00:52.840Yeah, Um, just a fewthings just has been on my mind.1400:00:52.880 --> 00:00:56.439I just wanted to run across,but I want to propose a question1500:00:56.520 --> 00:01:03.280to you all. So this iswhat I want to ask. Dude,1600:01:03.599 --> 00:01:14.519the childhood traumas turn into don't TrumpaI'm come back and say that a kid1700:01:15.040 --> 00:01:26.359just childhood traumas. In turn,turning to adult trump. Now, most1800:01:26.400 --> 00:01:29.840of us, I can't say allof us, I have no specific da1900:01:30.000 --> 00:01:33.480Aida to back this up on.We just going from straight common sense,2000:01:33.560 --> 00:01:37.000y'all. Y'All know how we doy'all know how we do things, I2100:01:37.040 --> 00:01:42.920said. But most of us havegone through some type of trauma, and2200:01:42.959 --> 00:01:51.680I childhood life, whether it's as. If you know what that means,2300:01:51.760 --> 00:01:53.120then you know what it means.If you don't, we just going to2400:01:53.159 --> 00:01:59.599leave there where it is. Whetherthere's that, whether it's child abuse,2500:02:00.959 --> 00:02:07.120whether it's mental abuse, whether it'semotional abuse, whether this one of these2600:02:07.159 --> 00:02:16.680situations that there is a generational cursethat seems to be going down from generation2700:02:16.759 --> 00:02:22.280to generation that hadn't been broken.All of us have experienced some type of2800:02:22.439 --> 00:02:30.000trauma as a chill, as achild, whether it was by our family,2900:02:30.360 --> 00:02:36.120by a loved one, by afriend, someone around a community,3000:02:36.479 --> 00:02:44.759a teacher or even a stranger.But do those traumas in turn become adult3100:02:44.840 --> 00:02:57.400TRAUMAS or adult issues? Personally,I think it does. I think if3200:02:57.479 --> 00:03:02.319these these these TRAUMAS aren't dealt with, it can become it can in turn3300:03:02.400 --> 00:03:09.879become the can be in turn becomea problem. For example, if you3400:03:09.879 --> 00:03:15.159were born in my generation, andI do think I'm a part of generation3500:03:15.680 --> 00:03:22.000X. I'm not a baby boomer, I'm not that old. Definitely not3600:03:22.080 --> 00:03:25.800a generation why or millennial. I'mtoo old for that. But I do3700:03:25.879 --> 00:03:30.639but think the generation x will bethose that were born between nineteen sixty five3800:03:30.680 --> 00:03:35.159and, I believe, nineteen seventynine or nineteen eighty seventy four. Baby,3900:03:35.439 --> 00:03:38.039you know how we do. MyI still think my generations is one4000:03:38.080 --> 00:03:40.080of the best. But you know, hey, I'm biased. I'm biased.4100:03:40.240 --> 00:03:46.479If a generations say there's it's thebest, I'm biased. Suit me.4200:03:47.840 --> 00:03:51.360That will be another topic. That, I'll be another subject and that'll4300:03:51.400 --> 00:03:53.360be a for debate. Also,we're going to definitely have somebody on with4400:03:53.439 --> 00:03:59.719us to debate there, because Ihave a friend that seems to debate which4500:03:59.800 --> 00:04:03.479generation is the best. They feelthat there's is, but again, that's4600:04:03.639 --> 00:04:08.960that's another subject. That's another topicfor another day. Will come back to4700:04:09.039 --> 00:04:13.800that. But Um, if youare boring around in my generation or your4800:04:13.840 --> 00:04:16.560close to my age right, andI do even feel the generation after mine,4900:04:17.199 --> 00:04:21.800they have the same mindset because theywent through something similar. But we5000:04:23.160 --> 00:04:27.879again, are not spoken on thisbefore. We if something happened to you,5100:04:28.000 --> 00:04:32.040it was never dealt with or disgustedor even talked about. A lot5200:04:32.040 --> 00:04:41.279of times these things were either overlooked, swept up under the rug, not5300:04:41.399 --> 00:04:45.800talked about all. You just toldstraight up and look, stop being plunking,5400:04:45.879 --> 00:04:50.720you just be a man and youdon't you know whatever. But these5500:04:50.720 --> 00:04:55.319things were never dealt with. So, especially as boys, you know,5600:04:55.399 --> 00:04:58.480and her, you know, youwhat's out to you had to be tough.5700:04:58.519 --> 00:05:02.040You couldn't show your emotion. Youcan show your feelings, you know.5800:05:02.160 --> 00:05:06.000You couldn't cry or anything like that, because that was a sign of5900:05:06.079 --> 00:05:11.519weakness. So you had to behard and tough and any and everything that6000:05:11.560 --> 00:05:15.879you did regardless if it hurt youor not. And that's just that's it's6100:05:15.920 --> 00:05:20.199a check the way of thinking.But this is how we were conditioned.6200:05:20.839 --> 00:05:28.000I mean not just even by familymembers, but just by our environment and6300:05:28.000 --> 00:05:32.879our surroundings as such. You know, our our girls, we would tell6400:05:32.920 --> 00:05:35.439they were out to be. Youhad to be cute, you got to6500:05:35.439 --> 00:05:39.639find a husband, you got todo x, Y Z and everything like6600:05:39.720 --> 00:05:43.480that, and you're not successful lessyou find a husband that makes money and6700:05:43.839 --> 00:05:46.879is this or is that? Andagain, and you are girl and you6800:05:46.920 --> 00:05:50.800were, you supposed to be frailand whatever the case may be. And6900:05:51.160 --> 00:05:58.600as far from the truth. Alot of these things that we were raised7000:05:58.600 --> 00:06:02.480in in my generation as far fromthe truth. So like if you I7100:06:02.519 --> 00:06:06.360got punched in the chest as akid and it miss hurt, muther of7200:06:06.439 --> 00:06:09.800not to win out of me.So the first thing that I would sit7300:06:09.879 --> 00:06:14.120there and told was, I'll suckit up. You A man, get7400:06:14.199 --> 00:06:16.639up to just punch me in mychest. You just punch me in my7500:06:16.720 --> 00:06:26.759died fram that miss hurt. Butagain, weren't allowed to be shown weakness.7600:06:26.879 --> 00:06:34.480You weren't allowed to say that hurt. A lot of us even were7700:06:36.120 --> 00:06:45.720exposed or two things that may havehurt US emotionally from my family and I7800:06:45.759 --> 00:06:50.079loved ones, but we weren't allowedto speak about it because, again,7900:06:50.199 --> 00:06:57.279if you were around my generation orafter or before, you were told children8000:06:57.360 --> 00:07:04.000to be seen and not heard.So as a child, you did have8100:07:04.120 --> 00:07:08.519a voice to not let me notonly to speak up for yourself, but8200:07:08.680 --> 00:07:14.240to say something was wrong, butit was it way, but it was8300:07:14.319 --> 00:07:20.839contradictory, because you were told inone breath, hey if somebody does something8400:07:20.879 --> 00:07:25.279to you, you come told me, you come tell me about it,8500:07:25.720 --> 00:07:30.120and then in another breath you weretold you a child, you to be8600:07:30.240 --> 00:07:45.240seen and not heard. That's confusing. That's confusing. But those things in8700:07:45.279 --> 00:07:49.879turn carry over because now you've beencondition to some of these things, in8800:07:49.920 --> 00:07:56.920these traumas as a kid and eventhough some of these things that you move8900:07:56.959 --> 00:08:01.480past as an adult or the olderyou've gotten, but they affect you in9000:08:01.560 --> 00:08:09.639so many different other ways. Sometimeswe realize it and sometimes we don't.9100:08:09.959 --> 00:08:16.800Sometimes they come out of US wrongbecause you can be, have been,9200:08:16.839 --> 00:08:22.279may have been made to feel thatyou can protect yourself or you had no9300:08:22.399 --> 00:08:28.839way to or anything as a child, and then that in turn becomes anger.9400:08:30.199 --> 00:08:41.159Then that anger becomes rage and itcan test go out of control as9500:08:41.200 --> 00:08:46.440an adult. Now, I'm notsaying that happens or to fix everybody that9600:08:46.559 --> 00:08:54.919way. I'm just giving it asample. It could, it couldn't turn9700:08:54.960 --> 00:09:03.159flip into something much worse. There'sone of things I say. Some childhood9800:09:03.159 --> 00:09:07.519TRAUMAS can become adult traumas or thingsthat you may have had to push down9900:09:09.840 --> 00:09:13.039deep inside of you to be ableto deal with or move past. But10000:09:13.120 --> 00:09:22.639they're still there because we weren't taughtto properly deal with them, or you10100:09:22.720 --> 00:09:26.399may just had to figure out thatbest. What that you can deal with10200:09:26.480 --> 00:09:28.440it is push it down, holdit. They're put it at the back10300:09:28.480 --> 00:09:37.159of your mind and keep it pushing. But any but we know that anything10400:09:39.240 --> 00:09:43.720too much of it or apply toomuch pressure, something's going to happen and10500:09:43.840 --> 00:09:50.000change those saying goes pressure buses apipe. But regardless if whatever that presses,10600:09:50.000 --> 00:09:54.000where it's water pressure, where it'sair pressure, anything, if it10700:09:54.080 --> 00:09:58.320has nowhere to go, if youpushed it down a constantly kept pushing it10800:09:58.360 --> 00:10:03.879down and it has nowhere to go, it's going to have to come out10900:10:05.120 --> 00:10:11.039somewhere and it's going to cut andwhen it comes out it's going to damage11000:10:11.080 --> 00:10:15.919whatever it's in. If you feel, if you feel a glass up with11100:10:16.039 --> 00:10:18.639water and there's a way that youcould put their glass in and in what11200:10:18.799 --> 00:10:22.159you stead at pumping water into it, but there's no way for it to11300:10:22.159 --> 00:10:28.600come out. Once it feels upand you're still pumping that water in,11400:10:28.360 --> 00:10:35.639guess what happens? It's going toexpand. At some point it's going to11500:10:35.679 --> 00:10:41.399break that glass because why it hasnowhere to go and when it breaks the11600:10:41.519 --> 00:10:50.159glass, what happens? That glassis now damaged. It's damaged because is11700:10:50.200 --> 00:10:54.759broken, because it had anywhere togo. So it came out violently.11800:10:56.000 --> 00:11:16.080It's damaged. Yeah, sometimes that'show things come out. It's not a11900:11:16.200 --> 00:11:26.200crime to want to do better orbreak those generational curses that you have or12000:11:26.360 --> 00:11:37.200to overcome those things that harmed usas children. There's no harm in that.12100:11:41.519 --> 00:11:43.080It's because you are a man anda woman. I regardless of your12200:11:43.159 --> 00:11:48.320age, whether you still need yours, your s, your forties or12300:11:48.360 --> 00:11:54.759your S, there is no harmand wanted to deal with those things that12400:11:54.879 --> 00:12:00.559you've had to overcome, that you'vehad to bypass, push down, deal12500:12:00.720 --> 00:12:05.519with or whatever case may be,when you were a kid. There is12600:12:05.559 --> 00:12:13.080no harm in wanting to get helpfor that. You should. You deserve12700:12:13.279 --> 00:12:18.840to, because you didn't deserve thosethings that you went through, whatever it12800:12:18.879 --> 00:12:28.919may be. I'm not pinpointing anythingin specific or in particular, not at12900:12:28.000 --> 00:12:35.000all. Trauma, just like someother things, not. There's not one13000:12:35.080 --> 00:12:41.720any greater than the other. Allare damaging to us some shape form of13100:12:41.799 --> 00:13:00.080fashion. They are, but wehave to stop being afraid to deal with13200:13:00.120 --> 00:13:03.879those things. Oh, finding noway to deal with the mean, not13300:13:03.879 --> 00:13:07.360not like we've had to to growup, you know, and everything,13400:13:07.399 --> 00:13:18.559but to talk to somebody, gosee there before so in turn it's not13500:13:18.720 --> 00:13:24.639passed down again inadvertently from you toone of your children, one of your13600:13:24.679 --> 00:13:35.240babies. It has to stop somewhere. This is the time for us to13700:13:35.240 --> 00:13:41.279break these generational curses. It's timefor us to move past, to to13800:13:41.360 --> 00:13:46.519be able to deal with and overcomeall of these childhood traumas that most of13900:13:46.600 --> 00:13:54.159us have experienced that we still arecarrying around. We shouldn't have to take14000:13:54.200 --> 00:13:58.360these things to the grave with us. Some of these things are are hindering14100:13:58.480 --> 00:14:07.960us from having productive lives, productiverelationships, raising our kids better, living14200:14:07.960 --> 00:14:18.720our lives better, and it issome of us and find different ways to14300:14:18.799 --> 00:14:22.200cope it, and the way thatwe may have had to cope before doesn't14400:14:22.240 --> 00:14:28.080work in it most of then wewe turn to something else. Why?14500:14:28.080 --> 00:14:35.080Because we're still not dealing with it. We have to deal with these things,14600:14:35.120 --> 00:14:43.200people, we have to. That'show we're going to get better as14700:14:43.200 --> 00:14:48.759a people. That's how our future, which is our children, is going14800:14:48.840 --> 00:14:54.360to get better once we break thatcycle. But it has to start with14900:14:54.480 --> 00:14:58.720us. It's not too late.As long as the most high continuous to15000:14:58.759 --> 00:15:03.639give us breadth in our bodies,it is not too late for us to15100:15:03.879 --> 00:15:15.360deal with these things. It's not. This was the things. Well,15200:15:15.399 --> 00:15:18.159I'm too old to deal with it. Now I'm or I'm setting my ways.15300:15:20.159 --> 00:15:28.200No changes inevitable to us all.I was told always the only thing15400:15:28.279 --> 00:15:31.639that is constant in it, withthe exception of God, the only thing15500:15:31.720 --> 00:15:39.559that is constant in this world ischange. Sounds Cliche, but it's true.15600:15:41.879 --> 00:15:46.159That is the with the exception ofGod himself, that is the only15700:15:46.159 --> 00:15:54.799thing in this world, on thisplane of existence, that is constant change.15800:15:54.840 --> 00:16:02.919And every happens, good or bad. It comes and it happens.15900:16:03.080 --> 00:16:11.799It's no stopping it. Bottom line, there is no stopping it. So16000:16:11.879 --> 00:16:19.360what are you going to do?Are you going to overcome dead are you16100:16:19.440 --> 00:16:25.360going to overlook are you going tomove past that, or you going to16200:16:25.440 --> 00:16:33.600go to someone that you can talkabout, deal with, overcome, move16300:16:33.720 --> 00:16:45.879past and become better for you,your children, your marriage, your relationships,16400:16:45.960 --> 00:16:56.360your job, in your life.Think about it here. You deserve16500:16:56.519 --> 00:17:06.240that. God says he wants tolive a life abundantly. How can you16600:17:07.839 --> 00:17:23.640if you're still carrying around a burdenof hurts from yesterday? My people,16700:17:23.640 --> 00:17:27.480that's all I'm going to say onthat today. Mike, I said,16800:17:27.480 --> 00:17:32.440this was in irregular episode. Thiswas something, a bonus episode for you16900:17:32.480 --> 00:17:37.160all, something that was just onmy mind, that I wanted to come17000:17:37.200 --> 00:17:41.680talk to you all about, froma conversation that I've had previously, that17100:17:41.720 --> 00:17:44.799I wanted to talk with you allabout, that I wanted to share with17200:17:44.880 --> 00:17:52.079you all with and I just wantedto drop something into your spirit. We17300:17:52.160 --> 00:18:00.920don't have to continue to deal withit. There's help out there. Let's17400:18:02.000 --> 00:18:08.599you and me and all of uscousins and kin folks have the courage in17500:18:08.640 --> 00:18:26.240the conviction to break that generational curseso we can become better people in every17600:18:26.279 --> 00:18:33.240aspect. I Love You, Huhand I want the best for you at17700:18:33.279 --> 00:18:40.960all times, and that'll do itfor this bonus episode of current on the17800:18:41.000 --> 00:18:42.839construction. You know, we dothis thing twice a week. Again,17900:18:42.920 --> 00:18:48.599this was a bonus episode. Youcan listen to US wherever you get your18000:18:48.599 --> 00:18:52.599podcast. Where if you listen toyour podcast, remember you can listen to18100:18:52.680 --> 00:18:57.440us on apple podcast, Google podcast, spotify, overcast, pocket cast,18200:18:57.720 --> 00:19:04.799radio, Public Castro, I heartradio, deezer and many many other platforms.18300:19:04.839 --> 00:19:10.279Again, you can listen to uson apple podcast, Google podcast,18400:19:10.480 --> 00:19:15.599spotify, overcast, pocket casts,radio, Public Castro, Deezer, I18500:19:15.720 --> 00:19:22.559heart radio and many many others.So again, we got a whole lot18600:19:22.599 --> 00:19:26.599coming up here for you and currentlyunder construction. Keep your ear to the18700:19:26.640 --> 00:19:29.920ground and be listening in for it. You never know what I'm going to18800:19:30.039 --> 00:19:33.960dropping a new dime on you allor what I have in store for you18900:19:33.000 --> 00:19:37.480all coming up this summer. Beon the lookout for that. Continue to19000:19:37.519 --> 00:19:42.839participate and continue to support us hereat currently under construction. The way that19100:19:42.920 --> 00:19:47.359you do this is only that youcan. You know why? Because you19200:19:47.440 --> 00:19:51.599all are my people. You knowI'm ADEOL. Come on, say it19300:19:51.640 --> 00:19:52.839with me. Come on now,come on, say it with me.19400:19:53.000 --> 00:19:57.480Takes the village for us to dothis thing, and you are all my19500:19:57.559 --> 00:20:03.240village and we're going to continue toput this thing together, you and I,19600:20:03.799 --> 00:20:08.000step by step, one break ata time. carmly under construction.19700:20:08.400 --> 00:20:14.799I love you all. Your regularsecond episode will be on bit coming along19800:20:14.799 --> 00:20:17.279here in a couple of days.Until then, I talk to you all19900:20:17.400 --> 00:20:18.240soon. Peace,