Men Running On Empty

0:01 Cousins and Ken folks. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome in, Welcome in, Welcome in to your newest episode, currently under construction. I am your host, King Helb. Thank you so much for joining your cousin. I know it's been a hot minute, but that's okay. We're here, We're going, We're gonna keep this thing going. We got a couple bunch of new episodes all in place for you. You don't want to miss, so make sure that you're tune in. Also, coming up next week, I will give you the details of our first giveaway for the season for the fall. It be our fall giveaway. I want to definitely give you the information on that, and also remember to be on the lookout. This is coming very very soon, and I do mean very soon. We're gonna give you all of the information for our upcoming holiday giveaway that has become a huge stap before us. Herea currently under construction and it has been a huge thing that our listeners have asked about throughout the year going into each year. And like I told you earlier, if you listen till then that this year will be a big, our biggest year yet. This year we plan on helping to feed ten families. That's right.

1:09 You hurt me clearly. Ten families, five for local regionally five nationally. So you don't want to miss out on that. And we've made it simple, just like we've done every year. No purchase necessary, nothing extraordinary you have to do. You don't have to jump through hoops, skip on the side, walk over the river, through the woods, the grandmother's house, or anything like that. All you have to do is something very very simple to be entered into this drawing and be a part of this amazing giveaway that's become a staple for us here Colonel Degander Construction. So you don't want to miss out on that coming up because it's a kin folks, and that's going to be very very soon. So you just have to tune in to find out what's going on and how you can enter.

1:55 All right, all right, all right, all right, listen, I'm gonna I'm not gonna hold you. I'm gonna get straight on into today's episode. And this is a good one. It's one that even had me thinking that I had to sit and ponder on it for a little bit. But the question that was posed to me, and I've experienced it in being a man myself, you know, so this question even holds true and dear for me. How or why is it that men can be emotionally depleted or even to the point where it seems like they may be completely defeated, but yet still have the capacity to keep going, whether it's in work, whether it's in life, whether it's in relationships. Why is it that men have the capacity to do so? And how hard is it? Really?

3:00 Those questions were posed to me. Shout out to that listener that posed that question. That was a great topic. That's why I chose that one. Listen, I'm just trying to figure out how to start this because it came first. Y'all just bear with me. But it's it's we're designed that way, and most of us, most of mostly we were brought up that way. It was instilled in us from a young age, especially us Black men. Now I'm not trying to exclude all men here, because a lot of men go through this particular, but particularly my brothers.

3:42 I'm specifically talking to my brothers right now, my black men. We were all conditioned this way. We were all conditioned from a young age that regardless of whatever you go through, you push that down and you keep going. We were in bread to not really show emotion. But you know, whatever you stumble and do, you get back up, which we all should do in life in itself. But even to the point where we have nothing left to give with regardless of whatever of how much we've given, we are still expected, whether the tank is on empty or not, to keep putting out and keep going, to keep putting out and to keep going. But if you're like me and you get to a point of growth in life, you wonder like, wait a minute, you sit there and think, Youseaif not, I'm like, wait a minute, that sounds a little toxic, that sounds traumatic. How can you expect a person to continue to do that? Because see, like your car, if your car run out of gas, you have to fill it up in order to keep going. But your car can get to a point where it's running on fumes, so there's no liquid to create left in the tank

5:15 itself to create that combustible explosion that's needed to move your car from point A to point B. But the fumes that still habitat your fuel tank and your fuel line and your fueling system can go to the spark plucks and give the spark plugs and and and and uh and a reason to fire and if fires, and to get your car moving and going. But but that can only last for so long that that that that's a that's something that that that will briefly go. But that can only go for so long until it's going to stop. Why because there's now nothing left in that has nothing left to give. There's nothing left to run through your fuel line from your tank. There's nothing that from your feud line to run through your engine. There's nothing left you mean engine to fire those spark plugs and have those pistons continue to fire in and out, to go up and down to create the motion in your crankshell for your car to move. Okay, yeah, your cousin know a little bit about a little bit you know and everything. Yeah, you know, I'm not a mechanic.

6:25 I'm not pretending to be. I'm a mechanic, but you know, my daddy taught me a thing or two. Here they're about cause you know, so yeah, you know, you know, little something about a little something, but bringing it on back, bringing it on back. So that's the same It works the same way with us as men, and as human beings, we can only put out so much for so long, but are expected and required to keep going, to keep pushing, and expected to keep providing. You see, we are expected to provide, so regardless of what we're going through, we have to keep going and just whatever we're dealing with from the outside, whether it's something at home, whether it's something we're going through and experiencing throughout the world, whether it's something personal for us that we're experiencing and going through, we have to we have to push that down to keep going. I've watched so many men who are part of my life growing up deal with different things, but still get up in the morning, get dressed, put on that face, you know, and get out and go to work so that they can provide for their families, so

8:00 that they can take care of themselves, so they can take care of their children. We are expected to do this even while at work. We put on your put on this face and this facade that everything is okay. May laugh, may joke, shoot the breeze, play the dozens or whatever you know, or even continue to be a team player, but it's a facade. We are embreded, we are designed, we are. It's instilled in us from a young age to continue to do so regardless of whatever you're going through. That hey, you do this because that's what a man does, and it's gonna be okay. But that's a bunch of bull because it's not gonna be okay.

8:57 It's not okay. Now, I don't have the statistical data in front of me. Again, I'm only going on from what I've seen and what I understand, using my own common sense, using a few things pieced together that I know that I've seen, and just you know, using you know, facts of things that can't be refuted to come to this conclusion. But some of it is. But it's perspecutive. But it makes you think. And again I don't have any statistical da don on an or or to say what I'm about to say. But when I said it shouldn't it may make sense to you. I think that this is the reason some men, or some women, but some men in turn turn to alcohol to be able to make our drugs, to be able to make it through or to deal with whatever it is that they're going through to make get through that day, because they've put out so much and it's so empty they just want to numb themselves to the situation and to be able to make it through. Is that a good outlet?

10:14 Of course it's not, but I understand it. But then that goes back to something we've talked about before, cousins and Kennic folks. We've talked about traumas and childhood traumas, these traumas or whatever you're going through, even though they become adult traumas that we don't have an outlet to be able to deal with. These things become a problem, and that can begin to affect your mental wellness and in turn to be in and begin to affect your physical wellness as well. Man, what you think how blood pressure comes from? And can then it turned to in ulcers, and then it can in turn in it and after that turned into strokes and aneurysms and go and can go forward from there. Why because we don't have a positive out to be able to push those things out and be able to be filled back in. Because all we have been taught is to give, give, give, give, put out, push it down, keep going, push it down, keep going. That's what we have been taught to do

11:46 from a young age. The brothers hear me, you don't have to do that. You have to have an out. You have to have an out. There is no way we can physically as men keep going and putting in and putting out that way without having a positive outlet. We have to have one. We have to find a way to do so. We have to swallow that pride that a lot of us may have and find a way and seek and ask for help. There's no shame in that. Again, although a lot of us were taught that you don't talk about that, you just push it down and deal with it. Oh, you just pray about it and let Lord take care of it. But that's why God put resources in front of us. That's why God put people in our lives to be able to help this. Whether that's your your spouse or your UH or a therapist or really good friend or somebody close to you. That's why they put those people in our lives to help find an avenue to be able to talk about these things, to give to help us find a way to deal with it. We don't have to

13:17 do and be what our great grandparents did and what our Paul Paul and me MAM's did, or even with our mom and Dad that we don't have to do those things now. We don't have to put up with those things. We don't have to continue to swallow those things and let it affect us negatively in every day life. We don't have to do that anymore. There is no shame in asking for help. There is no shame in that in any shape, form or fashion. But we have to come to the conclusion to ask cousins and ken folks, especially us as men. We can't brothers, we cannot be too prideful, we cannot. That has to go out the window when it comes to you, your health and your everyday life. There's nothing wrong with asking for help. Part of that is making sure that you surround yourself with people who will give you the safe space to do so.

14:38 If you're married or you're in a relationship, now look, you'll know I'm not a relationship expert. I'm not gonna say you can't claim to be. But if you have a spouse or a wife, fiance, girlfriend, woman, whatever the case may be, domestic partner, whatever, make sure it's someone that will create and give you that safe space to be able to tell them, to be able to to you, let them know what you're dealing with and what you're going through, and that they will pour into you and they can see that you're getting empty or that you are empty, and then they want to help you pour into you and to create that space so that you can do so. Because, let's call it for what it is, we as men, it's hard for us to open up, and it's hard for us to trust people enough to open up some of us because that's just the way that we're built, because we may have opened up before and someone else may have stepped on us or negated our feelings or what we're doing or what we're going through, or taking it and held it over our heads or whatever the case may be. Some of us have experienced that, and now we're so reluctant to open up to anyone else after that. So it's so hard for us is men to open up. But let's ensure that we find

16:11 somebody that we can feel safe enough to open up too. Sisters, Let's make sure that we create that space for them to do so and not hold it over their heads or throw it back in their face or negate their feelings to tell them, oh, you're telling me, it's right here, Oh, you're weak or you're small. Oh you sound sassy to me, Like I'm starting, I'm really hating that word because I hear it so much now, women calling me and sassy because they choose to open up about what they're dealing with or express their feelings. And that one I think that you're weak or you're quote unquote sassy. That gets on my nerves. That man ain't sassy. That man trying to tell you open up, to tell you what he feeling and what's going on with him and hoping that you create a safe space for him. But if you can't, don't have the capacity to see that, then you don't need to be around that person. Every person's feelings are valid, So sister, stop stop stop, Let's stop uh doing that.

17:13 Let's normalize the fact that these men have the right to be able to express themselves and how they're feeling or what they're going through. Also, and you not deem these brothers sassy. The brothers you you deserve to have that place to do so, but you you have to and I'm gonna say again, you have to make sure that you put your pride aside and know that you need help. And it's okay to do so. It's okay to ask for help. It's okay to knowing that you needed mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and soulfully. We don't always have to take everything and push it down and just to keep moving forward. And they think I'm gonna be okay.

18:19 That can only last for a while, But at some point you're not gonna be okay. Brothers, if you use the analogy before pressure busts a pipe, we've heard all of this coming up. But regardless, if you take so much pressure you push it down into a pipe, a lead pipe, and you keep pushing it down, keep pushing it down, it's going to run out of room. And what's gonnappen? When's gonna run out room and it comes back to the top, it's going to begin to expand because it still needs room because more pressure is being added, and it's going to explain, it's going to come out and it's gonna bulge that pipe. And when it comes out, it's going to come out violently. It's gonna come out in a way that it's it's just going to come out bad. And that doesn't mean all that I'm not saying it's gonna come up. You're gonna be a come out to be a violent person, you want to jump on somebody, whatever the case may be. I'm not saying just that when I saying come out violent could come out to a to a place to where you make may affect your health in a negative way. We want to prevent that. We want to keep that from happening.

19:37 Cousins again, folks, But that's what's can That's what can happen when when we just keep pushing down and keep going forward. I grandparents and great grandparents and parents had to do that because they all they knew, that's all they knew how to do, and suffered in silence, so to speak. We don't have to. We don't have to endure that same trauma just to get by, just to make it through each day. We don't have to. There are a lot of resources out there that are available, and I implore you take advantage of them, cousins and ken folks, take advantage of it. You deserve to do.

20:46 So what I'm going to do is for those that may not be comfortable sent oh you may not know how, email us here at the show and I will personally get that information for you. Email it back to you so you can do what's necessary for you to ensure that you are okay. You hear me, cousins and ken folks, I need you, especially my male cousins, king folks, I need you all to listen to me and and hone in on this right now. Do that. We don't have to keep going through this same cycle. Get off, Get off the mouse wheel. It's time to get off it.

21:44 We don't have to stay on the mouse or mouse wheel, hamster wheel, whatever you want to call it. We don't have to stay on it. Get off. You deserve to life too short. We only have one of these in this world. We only have one of these in this world, and I want you to live it abundantly as God promised us in his word, because God wants us to live a life abundantly, and I want that for you also. Cousins, you hear me, I said, you hear me, all right?

22:29 Make sure that you reach out, you know, if you want to know, and anonymously or whatever you know, you reach out and tell me what it is that you need. I'll get that information to you. It's right there between me and you, y'all know, the email address to the show. You can reach us here at under construction nineteen seventy four at yahoo dot com. That is under construction nineteen seventy four at yahoo dot com. Who. It's a good day, cousins and can't folks. It's a good day to be alive. It's a good day to be up. Each day is a good day. Each day that the Lord gives open bridge the breath of life in us again and allows us to open our eyes and give us another opportunity to get it right, to be better than we were the day before, to uh draw closer to Him. Each day he allows us to do that, it's a good day.

23:27 We've lost a lot of our great celebrities recently. I want to take the time to express our condolences to the families and the loss of John Amos and Man, we we lost a lot Man Frankie Beverly, Tito Jackson, James Earl Jones, and we're losing all of our childhood legends. But they've been here and they were ready to risk and God told them it was time for them to come home. But we want to express our sincere condolences and send their love to their families and their loved ones and their time of continued bereavement. Right now, life is short, cousins of ken folks, makes you think, just time out for the foolishness. We gotta get it together, cousins ken folks. So if you don't have a relationship with the most high, I advise you today to establish one, to get it together. Whatever grudges that you may be still holding on, to let it go, life is to shure to still hold on to it. Let it go.

24:53 Life is precious. We don't know when our days going to but it is going to come. And for me myself, I want to know that I've done more good in this world than I've ever done wrong. Whatever grudness I may have had with anyone for me at this particular moment in my life, maybe that's that's that's out the window. That is done. You know, I don't have time for it, and I'm not going to weigh myself above myself down with it. Life is too short for it. Life is too precious to be holding other things that happened yesterday.

25:45 How can we continue to go forward in life if we're still looking in a rearview mirror. I'm not gonna look in the rearview mirror. I will look rather take a glance to see where I've came from to know that that's not where I want to be anymore, or go act too, but will continue to look forward and continue to look to the hills where comes all of our help, because all of our help comes from the lower I'm gonna keep looking forward, keep my eyes on the road. That's what I'm asking you and employing you to do. Cousins again, folks. You deserve it. Do that. I ain't mean to start preaching on y'all, but I love y'all, and I want the best for y'all. And I want you know, each and every one of us to live life abundantly and have a make each day great, make each day better than it was the day before.

26:38 I want it for each and every last one of you cousins again, folks, because you deserve to have that. And that's what I believe here each and every day, and that's part of what we do here and currently under construction. I'm gonna get on no out of here, get up out of your hair. I to talk your head off long enough. Listen. We're back every Tuesday and Friday. Don't miss us. Got a great episode coming up for you this Tuesday, so you don't want to miss that. My birthday month was great, it was amazing. I had it's blessed to see fifty, you know. It. To some they're like, oh, you just turn another age, you still feel the same. But for me, you know, I had to give God the complete glory because half a hundo, half a hundole, y'all. But it's a blessing. It's truly a blessing. Shout out to all of my classmates and those here the year born in the year seventy four. Hey, we're fifty, y'all, and we look good for fifty. Let's continue to do good it, do greater each day and try to live our lives to the best of our abilities each and every day. I love y'all, seventy four.

27:52 I love you. Remember you can listen to us wherever you listen to, wherever you get your podcast. Remember, we broadcast on every different platform. We broadcast on Apple Podcasts, Overcast, pocket Casts, Spotify, Deezer Radio, Public podcast One, iHeartRadio, and many many others. You don't want to miss it. We broadcast on all of those again if maybe a few of us, I may not have a name, but hey, you gotta do what's punch in currently on a construction and you can listen to us, or you can listen to us directly on our website, and you can sign up for our email alerts that alert you whenever we have something new going on. We're gonna have under construction merch coming up. Oh yes, oh yes, I was gonna wait to surprise you all with it, but I we're going to give it into you right now, coming very soon.

28:43 These will be available before Christians. We're gonna have under construction merch coming up. T shirts, cups, placeholders. We're gonna start out with that right there. The T shirts will be unlimited sizes. Since I'm a big guy for right now and everything like that, We're definitely gonna have our bigger tolls for us. So I'm gonna definitely have those on the sites that you'll be able to see those. See the different designs colors. The colors we're gonna start off where. We're gonna start with black, white, blue, and red. So those are the only the colors will start out for right now, So be on the lookout for those. When those have hit the site, I will definitely be sure to give you the price catalog so you will see so that you can order your own currently down the Construction merch to help support your cousin. All right, all right, cousins against folks. But again, listen, I'm gonna get on up out of here. I'm gonna get on out your hair, y'all, get on here and here with me, and uh, you know what time it is. It takes a village to make this thing happen, and you all are my village. We're gonna continue to build this thing together, you and nine, step by step, one brick at a time, down the Construction. I love you all, cousins, folks, have a great weekend. I talk to you all Tuesday. Peace.