Oct. 4, 2024
Men Running On Empty
On this latest episode we tackle the topic of men and their capacity to keep going even when they are going through or emotionally and physically empty at the time. We also briefly speak on our upcoming fall giviaway. You dont want to miss it. Like...
On this latest episode we tackle the topic of men and their capacity to keep going even when they are going through or emotionally and physically empty at the time. We also briefly speak on our upcoming fall giviaway. You dont want to miss it. Like and share with a friend. Lets keep building Currently Under Construktion.
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WEBVTT
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Cousins and Ken folks. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome in, Welcome in,
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Welcome in to your newest episode, currently under construction. I
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am your host, King Helb. Thank you so much for
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joining your cousin. I know it's been a hot minute,
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but that's okay. We're here, We're going, We're gonna keep
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this thing going. We got a couple bunch of new
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episodes all in place for you. You don't want to miss,
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so make sure that you're tune in. Also, coming up
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next week, I will give you the details of our
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first giveaway for the season for the fall. It be
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our fall giveaway. I want to definitely give you the
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information on that, and also remember to be on the lookout.
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This is coming very very soon, and I do mean
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very soon. We're gonna give you all of the information
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for our upcoming holiday giveaway that has become a huge
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stap before us. Herea currently under construction and it has
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been a huge thing that our listeners have asked about
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throughout the year going into each year. And like I
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told you earlier, if you listen till then that this
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year will be a big, our biggest year yet. This
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year we plan on helping to feed ten families. That's right.
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You hurt me clearly. Ten families, five for local regionally
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five nationally. So you don't want to miss out on that.
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And we've made it simple, just like we've done every year.
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No purchase necessary, nothing extraordinary you have to do. You
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don't have to jump through hoops, skip on the side,
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walk over the river, through the woods, the grandmother's house,
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or anything like that. All you have to do is
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something very very simple to be entered into this drawing
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and be a part of this amazing giveaway that's become
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a staple for us here Colonel Degander Construction. So you
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don't want to miss out on that coming up because
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it's a kin folks, and that's going to be very
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very soon. So you just have to tune in to
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find out what's going on and how you can enter.
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All right, all right, all right, all right, listen, I'm
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gonna I'm not gonna hold you. I'm gonna get straight
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on into today's episode. And this is a good one.
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It's one that even had me thinking that I had
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to sit and ponder on it for a little bit.
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But the question that was posed to me, and I've
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experienced it in being a man myself, you know, so
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this question even holds true and dear for me. How
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or why is it that men can be emotionally depleted
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or even to the point where it seems like they
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may be completely defeated, but yet still have the capacity
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to keep going, whether it's in work, whether it's in life,
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whether it's in relationships. Why is it that men have
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the capacity to do so? And how hard is it? Really?
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Those questions were posed to me. Shout out to that
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listener that posed that question. That was a great topic.
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That's why I chose that one. Listen, I'm just trying
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to figure out how to start this because it came first.
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Y'all just bear with me. But it's it's we're designed
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that way, and most of us, most of mostly we
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were brought up that way. It was instilled in us
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from a young age, especially us Black men. Now I'm
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not trying to exclude all men here, because a lot
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of men go through this particular, but particularly my brothers.
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I'm specifically talking to my brothers right now, my black men.
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We were all conditioned this way. We were all conditioned
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from a young age that regardless of whatever you go through,
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you push that down and you keep going. We were
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in bread to not really show emotion. But you know,
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whatever you stumble and do, you get back up, which
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we all should do in life in itself. But even
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to the point where we have nothing left to give
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with regardless of whatever of how much we've given, we
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are still expected, whether the tank is on empty or not,
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to keep putting out and keep going, to keep putting
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out and to keep going. But if you're like me
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and you get to a point of growth in life,
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you wonder like, wait a minute, you sit there and think,
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Youseaif not, I'm like, wait a minute, that sounds a
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little toxic, that sounds traumatic. How can you expect a
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person to continue to do that? Because see, like your car,
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if your car run out of gas, you have to
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fill it up in order to keep going. But your
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car can get to a point where it's running on fumes,
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so there's no liquid to create left in the tank
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itself to create that combustible explosion that's needed to move
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your car from point A to point B. But the
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fumes that still habitat your fuel tank and your fuel
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line and your fueling system can go to the spark
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plucks and give the spark plugs and and and and
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uh and a reason to fire and if fires, and
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to get your car moving and going. But but that
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can only last for so long that that that that's
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a that's something that that that will briefly go. But
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that can only go for so long until it's going
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to stop. Why because there's now nothing left in that
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has nothing left to give. There's nothing left to run
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through your fuel line from your tank. There's nothing that
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from your feud line to run through your engine. There's
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nothing left you mean engine to fire those spark plugs
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and have those pistons continue to fire in and out,
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to go up and down to create the motion in
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your crankshell for your car to move. Okay, yeah, your
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cousin know a little bit about a little bit you
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know and everything. Yeah, you know, I'm not a mechanic.
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I'm not pretending to be. I'm a mechanic, but you know,
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my daddy taught me a thing or two. Here they're
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about cause you know, so yeah, you know, you know,
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little something about a little something, but bringing it on back,
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bringing it on back. So that's the same It works
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the same way with us as men, and as human beings,
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we can only put out so much for so long,
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but are expected and required to keep going, to keep pushing,
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and expected to keep providing. You see, we are expected
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to provide, so regardless of what we're going through, we
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have to keep going and just whatever we're dealing with
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from the outside, whether it's something at home, whether it's
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something we're going through and experiencing throughout the world, whether
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it's something personal for us that we're experiencing and going through,
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we have to we have to push that down to
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keep going. I've watched so many men who are part
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of my life growing up deal with different things, but
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still get up in the morning, get dressed, put on
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that face, you know, and get out and go to
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work so that they can provide for their families, so
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that they can take care of themselves, so they can
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take care of their children. We are expected to do
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this even while at work. We put on your put
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on this face and this facade that everything is okay.
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May laugh, may joke, shoot the breeze, play the dozens
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or whatever you know, or even continue to be a
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team player, but it's a facade. We are embreded, we
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are designed, we are. It's instilled in us from a
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young age to continue to do so regardless of whatever
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you're going through. That hey, you do this because that's
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what a man does, and it's gonna be okay. But
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that's a bunch of bull because it's not gonna be okay.
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It's not okay. Now, I don't have the statistical data
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in front of me. Again, I'm only going on from
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what I've seen and what I understand, using my own
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common sense, using a few things pieced together that I
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know that I've seen, and just you know, using you know,
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facts of things that can't be refuted to come to
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this conclusion. But some of it is. But it's perspecutive.
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But it makes you think. And again I don't have
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any statistical da don on an or or to say
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what I'm about to say. But when I said it
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shouldn't it may make sense to you. I think that
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this is the reason some men, or some women, but
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some men in turn turn to alcohol to be able
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to make our drugs, to be able to make it
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through or to deal with whatever it is that they're
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going through to make get through that day, because they've
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put out so much and it's so empty they just
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want to numb themselves to the situation and to be
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able to make it through. Is that a good outlet?
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Of course it's not, but I understand it. But then
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that goes back to something we've talked about before, cousins
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and Kennic folks. We've talked about traumas and childhood traumas,
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these traumas or whatever you're going through, even though they
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become adult traumas that we don't have an outlet to
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be able to deal with. These things become a problem,
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and that can begin to affect your mental wellness and
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in turn to be in and begin to affect your
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physical wellness as well. Man, what you think how blood
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pressure comes from? And can then it turned to in ulcers,
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and then it can in turn in it and after
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that turned into strokes and aneurysms and go and can
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go forward from there. Why because we don't have a
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positive out to be able to push those things out
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and be able to be filled back in. Because all
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we have been taught is to give, give, give, give,
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put out, push it down, keep going, push it down,
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keep going. That's what we have been taught to do
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from a young age. The brothers hear me, you don't
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have to do that. You have to have an out.
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You have to have an out. There is no way
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we can physically as men keep going and putting in
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and putting out that way without having a positive outlet.
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We have to have one. We have to find a
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way to do so. We have to swallow that pride
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that a lot of us may have and find a
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way and seek and ask for help. There's no shame
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in that. Again, although a lot of us were taught
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that you don't talk about that, you just push it
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down and deal with it. Oh, you just pray about
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it and let Lord take care of it. But that's
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why God put resources in front of us. That's why
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God put people in our lives to be able to
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help this. Whether that's your your spouse or your UH
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or a therapist or really good friend or somebody close
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to you. That's why they put those people in our
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lives to help find an avenue to be able to
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talk about these things, to give to help us find
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a way to deal with it. We don't have to
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do and be what our great grandparents did and what
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our Paul Paul and me MAM's did, or even with
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our mom and Dad that we don't have to do
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those things now. We don't have to put up with
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those things. We don't have to continue to swallow those
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things and let it affect us negatively in every day life.
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We don't have to do that anymore. There is no
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shame in asking for help. There is no shame in
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that in any shape, form or fashion. But we have
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to come to the conclusion to ask cousins and ken folks,
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especially us as men. We can't brothers, we cannot be
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too prideful, we cannot. That has to go out the
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window when it comes to you, your health and your
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everyday life. There's nothing wrong with asking for help. Part
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of that is making sure that you surround yourself with
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people who will give you the safe space to do so.
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If you're married or you're in a relationship, now look,
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you'll know I'm not a relationship expert. I'm not gonna
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say you can't claim to be. But if you have
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a spouse or a wife, fiance, girlfriend, woman, whatever the
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case may be, domestic partner, whatever, make sure it's someone
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that will create and give you that safe space to
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be able to tell them, to be able to to you,
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let them know what you're dealing with and what you're
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going through, and that they will pour into you and
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they can see that you're getting empty or that you
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are empty, and then they want to help you pour
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into you and to create that space so that you
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can do so. Because, let's call it for what it is,
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we as men, it's hard for us to open up,
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and it's hard for us to trust people enough to
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open up some of us because that's just the way
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that we're built, because we may have opened up before
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and someone else may have stepped on us or negated
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our feelings or what we're doing or what we're going through,
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or taking it and held it over our heads or
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whatever the case may be. Some of us have experienced that,
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and now we're so reluctant to open up to anyone
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else after that. So it's so hard for us is
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men to open up. But let's ensure that we find
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somebody that we can feel safe enough to open up too. Sisters,
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Let's make sure that we create that space for them
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to do so and not hold it over their heads
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or throw it back in their face or negate their
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feelings to tell them, oh, you're telling me, it's right here, Oh,
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you're weak or you're small. Oh you sound sassy to me,
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Like I'm starting, I'm really hating that word because I
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hear it so much now, women calling me and sassy
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because they choose to open up about what they're dealing
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with or express their feelings. And that one I think
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that you're weak or you're quote unquote sassy. That gets
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on my nerves. That man ain't sassy. That man trying
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