It Starts At Home Cousins and Kinfolks

0:00 Cousins and King, folks, what's happening. Welcome to the latest episode of your favorite podcast that mine currently on the construction. I am your host, King. Thank you so much for joining me again today. Like I told you, we are back. We are back season six, Season six, Season six. Man, I know we're a little bit behind in season six. We should be a little further than we are. Like I said before, Cousin Ken folks, we had a lot of things we had to take care of dealing with our sponsors getting back on track. But we are back. We are definitely back on track. We are back at it one hundred percent. We are back edit weekly again, and so be on the lookout for the new episodes coming up each and every week. I got your emails, I hurt your requests. Hey, We're gonna definitely be on the I've seen the topics that you all have sent then asking to possibly discuss, and ninety percent of those topics we're gonna touch base on. We're gonna touch based on.

0:55 It's a lot of topics that y'all know. I've never said that I'd stay away from that I wouldn't touch based on. But guess what this season we're gonna hit it. We gonna hit it, cousins and can folks. I'm gonna I'm not gonna stall. I'm not gonna lie to gat today. I'm just gonna get right on into it. Listen, my cousins who are parents, My cousins and king folks who are parents. Let's have a talk. Let's let's let's have a straight up family conversation we have. I'm not gonna say we're losing. We have lost all sense of our complete responsibilities as parents. I know a lot of y'all scratching your head right now. You're probably looking at your phone or your computer, or however you may be listening to us on wherever you get your podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. I know y'all probably be listening and then like, what the hell are you talking about? Like really cousin, like you had really cousin, Like y'all, we have literally lost all sense of what it is to be a parent. Now. I'm not saying everything. I'm not pointing my finger at everybody. I'm including myself. There is no manual when it comes to being parents. There is

2:27 not at all. Here's part of my problem. Here's the beginning of one of my problems. When you send your kids to school, and your kids go to school and lose their minds completely, talking back to their teachers, coming to school, don't know what's going on, don't want to do their work, being disruptive in class, no respect for themselves, or no in any type of authority position. That's a problem for me. That is a huge problem. And see, I'm gonna say something that's gonna be an unpopular opinion.

3:15 A lot of y'all probably gonna get mad at me. I'm probably gonna lose a lot of listens to this. But you know what, your cousin's gonna do. Your cousin gonna tell it to your straight Your cousin gonna tell it to you with no chaser. I'm gonna tell it to you with no filter. A lot of us set up here your senior school, your kids to school because you don't want to deal with them. That's right, you don't want to deal with them. You're expecting your teacher, the teachers there, the educators, the people who are just there to help educate your students who are in They are in their possession, They and the responsibility for those seven to eight hours a day. You expect them to do everything, and then when they go to school and lose their minds, you want to blame the teacher. It's a problem for you. Now tell me how that works, cousin, that's your child. But when the teacher comes to you and want to have a conference with you about it, you want to catch your attitude. But how teachers and parents always worked hand in hand. Your educators are the catalysts and the go between between the students, parents and the community. It's always been like that. There are some teachers who still hold that to be true because they love educating students. They love seeing the brightness in their eyes.

4:47 They love seeing that aha moments when they've gotten it. They love the fact that they come in and they're respectful and they're helping to shape this students and this child to be of prosperous, respective human being in society. But it's hard for these educators to do this when these children come to school with these little funky stink attitudes and the first thing I want to have to say, well, my mama said I gotta do this, And then when they come to want to have a confisence with you about their parents. You want to give the teachers an attitude. No, this starts at home. This starts at home. Now again, I'm gonna say a few things that's probably gonna make some of y'all mad at me. You're probably not gonna like what I'm about to say, but I'm but you know what, at this moment, I don't care. I'm gonna give it to you straight because you know what we down bad as parents. You're rewarding these children for their their rude behavior because you making them think that it's okay, you know, to do the stuff that they do with no repercussions. You don't want to deal with them, so you just let them have their way. You're not singing to the things that they're doing. You're not checking in on them, you're not looking at you're not getting in their business the way that you're supposed to as a parent.

6:12 And what you mean getting their business, I mean going through their computers, going through their phones, going through their room and everything like that. They have no privacy when it comes to you and living in your house. Now, a lot of them like, well that's oh, they don't do it. They do that back in the day. No, you still should be doing that, cause your children live with you. The bucks are supposed to stop with you as a parent. The buck's supposed to stop with you as a parent. You pay all the bills, right, you're supposed to be the queen and king of that castle, or if you're sing, if you're in a single parent home, queen or king of that castle. Your children don't run nothing. Now, I'm not saying that you should be uh cussing them out, calling them out, they names, everything like that. No, I'm not saying do that's that's no, no child should ever experience that. But by the same token, your children should understand and respect who the authority figure it is. But a lot of us have gotten lexit in that, and we just wanted to make the and want these children think that it's okay for their bad behavior because you don't sit up there and punish them for this. You don't get there in their business. You don't know who they talking to and everything like that. So they you know, just doing all the type of stuff on the phone and everything like that, in their computers and everything, and you not getting in their business. You're supposed to stay in your kids business at all time. As long as they live in the house with you, stay in their business.

7:42 They have no business when they live with you, none at all. But a lot of us take that. A lot of y'all excuse my language. God know, I don't know them to cuss, but I'm gonna call it for what it is. You take the punk ass way out, and you want to sit there and just send them to their room, Get out my face. You send them to their room on with their phones and their computers and everything like that. As long as they got there and they you know, they can stay out your way, you don't have to deal with them as long as they continue to keep that phone, that computer and that game. No, if they're not doing what they're supposed to do or doing what you require for them to do, those things they shouldn't have there should be no reward for that. There should be no reward for that. A lot of you have forgotten what it is to be a parent.

8:25 You stop being your kids friends. See that's what happened again, y'all. Go. A lot of y'all gonna get mad at your cousin. But that's okay, that's okay. But I'm gonna give it to you straight. Stop being your dang gonna kids friend. You are not their friends. You are their parent. Put your big boy, your big woman draws on and be their parents. Stop trying to be these kids friends. You want a friendly bob and all that right there. No, No, I love my daughters. I have y'all those those of y'all who know me have been with it. Did one you do. I talk about my children a lot, you know. I love my daughters with every fiber of my being. Ill do anything in the world for them to protect them.

9:06 I always wanted to laugh with them and everything. But they understood one thing at the end of the day. I am not your friend. I'm not want to get little friends. I'm your dad. You didn't shoot marbles with me, you ain't playing the dirt with me. I am your dad. Yes, I want you to be able to come and talk to me about the things that's going on with you. Yes, I'm gonna get in your business. Yes, I want you to tell me if somebody's touching you here there, or messing with you, whatever the case may be. I'll sit out, laugh with you, will joker, will have fun. But at the end of the day I am not your friend, I am your dad. Point blank, point blank, y'all have to stop being your these children's friends and go back to being their parent. Now, listen to me. Now there's a fine line with that. Now I want you all to hear me clearly because I'm going to try to explain this in this entire so that way you'll get what I'm saying, so no one is misconstruing anything that I'm saying of what I'm suggesting. So you can go back and like well he said, we suggest to do what our parents used to do, my great grandma and them used to do and just beat the whole of hell.

10:14 I'm not saying that on no level, but understand this. There's a difference in disciplining your children and punishing them go to borderline abuse. There's a difference in it. At some point, our children have to learn for everything that you do, there's a consequence for whether it's good or bad. So that way they developed a moral compass. You see, my mother and my grandmama they developed it in well, it was probably more so my great grandmama because she just didn't cut no corner. Just her whole line was just there again for y'all my dead ones. Y'all know I've talked about madea crazy but still my mother and my grandmother instill that moral compass because a lot of times when they would say something, they didn't even have to say anything. They would just look at me and I knew, Okay, I better chill out. Your children need to know and understand for and you have conversations with them, know and understand that for everything that you do, there's a consequence for whether it's good or bad. If they doing something that's contrary to what you've taught to them or what you explain for them to not to do, and they do it, they need to understand that there's a consequence for that. You don't have to beat them,

11:45 you don't have to whoop them, but you just need they need to know and understand that there is a consequence for that. You begin to take things for them. It's something that you know what they want to do, you take that from them, don't tell them you're gonna put them on punishment. Then you don't follow through. See that's another thing we've stopped doing as parents. We stop following through on things that we say that we're gonna do we stop following through on that. No, you need to stand your ground and follow through on it so that way they know when they understand. And this needs to start at a young age. You can't wait till this child is ten, eleven, twelve years old and then now you all of a sudden you want to stand up and tell them not you've waited too late, because see now that condition they have this to that particular point that I could do X, Y Z whatever. One like my mom and my dad ain't gonna say nothing to me. No you try to. They're out of control.

12:34 You can't do anything with them. You would rather you sit and you do what you need to do when you come down on your child yourself and you discipline them, versus the streets get hold of them. You don't want the streets to get hold on them because if the streets get hold of them, there's only two options for them. The penitentiary or the graveyard. Those are the only two options that the streets get hold of them. So you'd rather get hold of them first and teach them and make them know that there are consequences for things that they do, good or bad. It's okay to spoil your children.

13:24 But when they've done something that warrants that they're doing good in school, you reward them for that. But when you sit here and you have unruled children and then you still you coming back and you buying them two religion clothes and Jordan's and you getting them a thousand dollars iPhone or whatever whatnot, and then they acting the food and you're not doing anything about that. You're not taking that. No, it starts when they're young. You get them, You get them in there and start cleaning their room. It starts with something simple, and then make sure they keep their room clean. That that they begin to to clean their you know, to wash that put to get together their own clothes and help do launch and clean up stuff in the house. It starts there and then you break it forward. And then at this particular point they have they have and begin to develop a moral compass.

14:22 Now a lot of them won't stay in that, but that foundation is set. You set that foundation. That may straight away from but guess what's gonna happen. They're gonna come back. They're gonna come back to that. They gonna come back to that. It's the same thing like a lot of us with God, you know, when we're taught. You know, a lot of what is in God's word is innate in us to knowing what's from between right from right, right and wrong, and we we we feel that, you know. It's some people call it, you know, following your first mind or following your instincts. That's the Holy Spirit in us talking like, don't do that. That's sometimes we listen and sometimes we don't. But even if we go so far to the left and to the right, we always work our way back. These are the things that our children should be doing, you know, within us as parents, which for you not giving them this and just let them just go all the way out there willy nilly, and then they're acting a fool with their teachers and stuff like that, going in school, cussing them out and everything all out in public, just acting a full And I'm not talking about just their teenagers. I'm talking about elementary school kids, you know, I'm talking about third gradest, fourth gradert fifth That is crazy. That is crazy.

15:41 We have to do better as parents. It starts with us. It starts at home. It starts at home. Cousins and king folks, you can't keep sending these kids out here, letting them act a fool in these schools. And then when when it's brought to your attention, you're like, oh, my child will never do this, and my child will never do that. But you know better because they act like you like that at home with you. They act like that at home with you. Stop trying to be your kids friends. And another thing, if you if you doing things recreationally, and I'm talking to my indulging cousins and cousins and ken folks, those who love the endels of the PLANTI leaf that that good urth. You know what I'm talking about. I don't have to set up and spend it out. You can read between the lines.

16:46 Stop doing this miss around your kids. Your kids have no business coming to school smelling like they just got through, you know, getting blow the charge or they've been passing the blunt around. Stop that children should come to school. And then there's a and you in you didn't call with you, and you sit up there then lit up and you smoking, smoking around your kids. This have now been the smelling it again for those of my cousins that do and do you indulge in that good green leaf. I'm not saying that you can't. I'm not saying that you shouldn't. Shouldn't do it by all means. Do it if if you're doing it in the comfort of your own home, and do you doing it responsibility continue your own.

17:30 But your child should not know how to roll a blunt. Your child should not know what it looked like. Your child should not know like every time my daddy and then Mama, I'm gonna go in the room and everything like that, they be lighting up his house and spinning like pine cones. The hell, come on, cousins and can folks. I'm gonna need y'all to y'all to do better, needs you all to do better than that. But these are things that affect your children. So we got to step up, cousins, Kenny, folks, we are losing our children. We are losing our children, and we got to tighten this thing up. We have to tighten this thing up. Our children are especially our little boy. Some of my my female cousins. Stop coloring these little boys. Nothing wrong with loving on your sons, There's nothing wrong with it. Stop cuddling these cuddling these little boys and let them grow up. Stop calling them if their dads are in their lives or trying to be in their lives. Let them be in their lives because there are things that dad can teach them that you can't. Continue to make sure that they be your sons.

18:53 Stop trying to turn these little boys into your man. You hear me, because again, I know I'm saying a lot of things that that's that's unpopular. A lot of y'all might get mad at me, but I'm gonna give it to you straight, you know I will. We have to stop that because our children is getting crucier out there, and our children that they they're trying to send them to the penitentiary. A lot of them are on their way to the penitentiary. A lot of our children are reading far below the great level that they may be in and that's hurtful and sad to me as a black man. Let me explain something to you. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but just to give you the pressure that was on me of my grandmother's grandchildren.

20:02 I am her first grandson, her first grandchild. Her thing for me was to always staid on me, stay in your books, get your lesson, keep learning. I love to read anyway, so I was always in a book reading. But she stayed on me about me being in school, me going to school every day, me mix s y'all pay attention to my teachers and learning and everything. Because I didn't understand the fact that the pressure that was on me at that time to be none of my grandmother's siblings if had finished high school, none of my grandmother's children, including my mother. As intelligent as my mother was, my mama was one of the most intelligent women ever in the world. And again my day on was known because I've talked about my mama that she only had a fourth grade education, But my mama was one of the most intelligent women I've ever known and met in my life, especially when it came to finances and money.

21:00 But the pressure was on me because I had to be the first to graduate from high school. When I graduated from high school, I don't know who cried more, my grandmother or my mother, but I think it was probably my grandmother because when she hugged me, the first thing she did at she hug me and she said, let me see it. And I opened my diploma up for her to look at it, and she just sat there and just kept rubbing her hands across the stenciling of where my name was and with tears in her eyes because she was so proud because I did something she didn't do. None of her siblings, none of her children that I'm her first grandchild and her first grandson, achieved her dream of her singing it. I didn't stop there.

22:03 I didn't go and win on the college that was icing on the cake. Her thing was graduate high school. That was her thing. Education is so important, cousins and Ken folks, and our children are getting so far behind. I know so many educators who have talked to me or I've seen that the children that class are for one or two great levels below where they are and they should be. And that makes no sense that they can't even come back and read back, you know, complete and complete sentences of what you may have just shown them or asked them, and they can't come back and answer it in a complete sentence. We got to get we have to tighten up at home. We have to typen up at home. Cousins and Ken folks. We have to our children are getting behind in the education system, and what's going on in this world right now? They're trying to ensure that they don't get it. So we got to tighten up at home with our kids. We have to tighten it up to ensure that our kids are where they're supposed to be or beyond. One thing.

23:20 I want you to remember because it was taught to me. We have to be twice as good as they are to get half of what they have. Stay on your children about that, get in their business, make sure they know and understand that, and understand the importance of it. Of all the people from and our ancestors, all the people who sacrificed and gave their lives and died and they were beating whatever, just so we could go to school and have an education. It makes sense like, oh that was just so long ago. It ain't been that long ago. It hasn't. It hasn't. And we have to tighten up. And it starts at home. Cousiness again, and folks, the educators of the teachers, and the counselors and and all that that they can only do so much. But you have to as a parent. You it has to start with you. It has to start with you. It has to start with us. It has to start at home.

24:23 Becausins again, folks. I want to see our children go far beyond what we did and what our our parents did. I want to see them become entrepreneurs, a lot of them. I hear a lot of these kids talking about, Oh, I want to be a business, but I want to own my business. But you can't even read a contract. You can't tell me if they if they offer your contract, and if you're gonna get and you have something that you can get paid in perpetuity for and you don't even know what that means? Why because you can't read are you don't understand for numbers. We have to tighten up, and education is to keep. But it starts at home.

25:19 It starts at home. Cousins and Kent folks. Stop being our kids friends, be their parents, be their parents, be their parents. Now to tap your ear off enough again, I'm gonna get on up out of here, cousins and ken folks. I still love y'all, even though I y'all mighty think I was fussing it and everything. I still love y'all I do, but we gotta tighten this up. Cousins again, folks, I'm gonna get on up out of here, listen. Remember we're back. We are back and forth from you're getting a double episode today. You get two episodes today for the price of one. But we'll have another episode on Friday. So remember, listen to us wherever. Listen to us, wherever you get, wherever you get your podcast, wherever you listen to your podcast, you can remember you can listen to us on Apple Podcasts, Overcast, Pocketcasts, iHeartRadio, castro Cast podcast one, and many many other platforms. Or you can just straight up listen to us on our website at underconstruction dot com. That is www dot under construction dot com.

26:32 Remember we're gonna do this twice a week again, but you're getting a double episode today. Oh yeah, I was getting into Cousins of kin folks. We're back. We're back in full swing. This is season six. We are back. We are bad cousins of kin folks. We have a whole lot to talk about in this season, in this part of the season. With listen, it's getting crucier out there, Cousins of kin folks. Some of the episodes I have coming up, you're gonna not gonna want to miss it. I got a lot of I got a lot of roture, straight up stuff. I'm gonna be talking to you all about I have some guests coming up that's gonna give us some real stuff. But I need you to ensure that you tune in, that you listen every Tuesday, every Friday, wherever you listen to your podcast. I'm gonna get on up out of here. I'mna get out your ear, but come on in here. You know what time it is, you know what we do, you know what we do.

27:18 Let let's let's gonna do this thing, because it takes a village to make this thing happen. And you are all my village, and we're gonna continue to build this thing together, you and I step by step, one brick at a time, currently under construction. I'm gonna get up out of here again. I love y'all. Cousins and king folks, don't be mad at me. I love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't talk to you and tell you about what we need to do as a community together to ensure that we be the best that we can be and we can bring the best out of each other. I love y'all, and oh, ain't my fault. Happy Black History, My cousins and ken Fu power to the people. But I like, look us, my light fly has tough bight nigga aus my life time right times like y'all that chips, like y'all that's of it. I'm fucked up. I mean you fucked up. But if God got dust they peco be all right right. If we can clean up and be all right, we can clee be all right, We be all right, can be all right, nig