Replay/ Dealing with childhood traumas that become adult traumas

WEBVTT100:00:01.679 --> 00:00:04.480Welcome back. Welcome back, cousinsand King folks. It is a new200:00:04.639 --> 00:00:08.519episode of your favorite podcast in mine, currently under construction. I am your300:00:08.519 --> 00:00:12.119host, Otis. Thank you somuch for joining us today. This is400:00:12.160 --> 00:00:15.919a bonus episode. I did this. This is technically not your second episode500:00:15.919 --> 00:00:19.960for this week, but this isa bonus episode. It's just a little600:00:20.000 --> 00:00:23.920something on my mind and I justwant to take take an opportunity to stop700:00:24.000 --> 00:00:28.399through, talk to my cousins andkin folks, just share a little bit800:00:28.480 --> 00:00:30.879with you. You know how Ido sometimes, y'all. It's stuff be900:00:31.000 --> 00:00:33.759on my mind. I just gottaget it out. So who do I?1000:00:33.799 --> 00:00:37.359Come talk to him now. Cometalk to Y'all, my people,1100:00:37.640 --> 00:00:42.119my folks, my community, mycousins and King folks, and currently under1200:00:42.119 --> 00:00:45.880construction, listing audience. Y'All.Know Y'all, my people and I love1300:00:45.960 --> 00:00:52.880y'All. Yeah, just a fewthings. This has been on my mind.1400:00:52.880 --> 00:00:56.439I just wanted to run across,but I want to propose a question1500:00:56.479 --> 00:01:03.840to you all. So this iswhat I want to ask. Dud Does1600:01:04.000 --> 00:01:14.200Childhood TRAUMAS TURN INTO ADULT TRAUMA?I'm gonna come back and say that a1700:01:14.319 --> 00:01:26.480kid does childhood traumas in turn turninto adult trauma. Now, most of1800:01:26.560 --> 00:01:30.359us, I can't say all ofus, I have no specific data to1900:01:30.480 --> 00:01:34.359back this up on. We're justgoing from straight common since y'all, y'all,2000:01:34.400 --> 00:01:37.319know how we do y'all know howwe do things, I said.2100:01:37.359 --> 00:01:45.120But most of us have gone throughsome type of trauma in our childhood life.2200:01:46.799 --> 00:01:52.079Whether it's S S. You knowwhat that means, then you know2300:01:52.120 --> 00:01:53.799what it means. If you don't, we're just gonna leave there where it2400:01:53.959 --> 00:02:02.959is, whether it's that, whetherit's child abuse, whether it's mental abuse,2500:02:04.480 --> 00:02:09.400whether it's emotional abuse, whether it'sone of these situations that there is2600:02:09.759 --> 00:02:17.599um a generational curse that seems tobe going down from generation to generation that2700:02:17.680 --> 00:02:24.120hadn't been broken. All of ushave experienced some type of trauma as a2800:02:24.240 --> 00:02:30.680chill, as a child, whetherit was by our family, by a2900:02:30.840 --> 00:02:37.960loved one, by your friend,someone around a community, a teacher or3000:02:38.039 --> 00:02:46.520even a stranger. But do thosetraumas in turn become adult traumas or slash3100:02:46.680 --> 00:02:58.439adult issues? Personally, I thinkit does. I think if these these3200:02:58.520 --> 00:03:02.919these TRAUMAS aren't dealt with, itcan become it can in turn become though3300:03:04.919 --> 00:03:10.039it can be in turn become aproblem. For example, if you were3400:03:10.080 --> 00:03:15.879born in my generation, and Ido think I'm a part of generation X.3500:03:16.960 --> 00:03:22.000I'm not a baby boomer, I'mnot that old. I'm definitely not3600:03:22.080 --> 00:03:25.840a generation why or millennial. I'mtoo old for that. But I do3700:03:27.000 --> 00:03:30.879think that generation x will be thosethat were born between nineteen sixty five and,3800:03:30.919 --> 00:03:35.159I believe, nineteen seventy nine ornine eighty seventy four. Baby,3900:03:35.479 --> 00:03:38.120you know how we do. MyI still think my generations is one of4000:03:38.159 --> 00:03:40.080the best. But you know,hey, I'm biased. I'm biased.4100:03:40.280 --> 00:03:46.159If a generation stay there, isit's the best. I'm biased. Suit4200:03:46.240 --> 00:03:51.159me. That will be another topic. That will be another subject and that4300:03:51.199 --> 00:03:53.360will be here for debate. Also, we're gonna definitely have somebody on with4400:03:53.439 --> 00:04:00.319us to debate there, because Ihave a friend that seems to debate whicheration4500:04:00.479 --> 00:04:03.039is the best. Um, theyfeel that there's this, but again,4600:04:03.280 --> 00:04:08.800that's that's another subject. That's anothertopic for another day. Will come back4700:04:08.840 --> 00:04:13.599to that. But Um, ifyou were going around in my generation or4800:04:13.639 --> 00:04:16.600you're close to my age, andI do even feel the generation after mine,4900:04:17.240 --> 00:04:21.639they have the same mindset because theywent through something similar. But we5000:04:23.160 --> 00:04:27.839again, and I've spoken on thisbefore, we if something happened to you,5100:04:28.000 --> 00:04:31.959it was never dealt with or discussedor even talked about. A lot5200:04:32.040 --> 00:04:40.040of times these things were either overlooked, swept up under the rug Um,5300:04:41.199 --> 00:04:45.120not talked about, or you werejust told straight up and look, stop5400:04:45.160 --> 00:04:47.759being punking, you just be aman and you don't you know whatever.5500:04:49.399 --> 00:04:55.160But these things were never dealt with. So, especially as boys, you5600:04:55.199 --> 00:04:58.399know and you know, you weretalked to. You had to be tough.5700:04:58.519 --> 00:05:02.079You couldn't show your most. Youcan show your feelings, you know,5800:05:02.160 --> 00:05:06.000you couldn't cry or anything like that, because that was a sign of5900:05:06.079 --> 00:05:11.480weakness. So you had to behard and tough in any and everything that6000:05:11.560 --> 00:05:15.000you did, regardless if it hurtyou or not. And that's just that's6100:05:15.759 --> 00:05:19.879that's a check the way of thinking. But this is how we were conditioned.6200:05:20.879 --> 00:05:26.759I mean not just even by familymembers, but just by uh,6300:05:26.839 --> 00:05:32.399our environment and our surroundings as such. You know, our our girls,6400:05:32.439 --> 00:05:35.079we were they were taught to be. You had to be cute, you6500:05:35.160 --> 00:05:39.079got to find a husband, yougot to do x, Y Z and6600:05:39.120 --> 00:05:42.639everything like that. And you're notsuccessfunless you find a husband that makes money,6700:05:43.079 --> 00:05:47.079and is this or is that?And and you're a girl and you're6800:05:47.399 --> 00:05:51.560you're supposed to be frail and whateverthe case may be. And as far6900:05:51.639 --> 00:05:58.879from the truth. A lot ofthese things that we were raised in my7000:05:58.959 --> 00:06:03.240generation as far from the truth.So like if I got punched in the7100:06:03.399 --> 00:06:06.800chest as a kid and it mishurt, it might have noted to win7200:06:06.879 --> 00:06:10.560out of me. So the firstthing that I would sit there and told7300:06:10.720 --> 00:06:15.519was, I'll suck it up,you a man, get up to.7400:06:15.680 --> 00:06:17.680Just punched me in my chest.You just punched me in my diaphragm.7500:06:17.680 --> 00:06:27.000That mis hurt. But again,weren't allowed to be shown weakness. You7600:06:27.079 --> 00:06:38.519weren't allowed to say that hurt.A lot of us even were exposed or7700:06:39.079 --> 00:06:46.480two things that may have hurt USemotionally from my family and our loved ones,7800:06:46.560 --> 00:06:50.480but we weren't allowed to speak aboutit because, again, if you7900:06:50.519 --> 00:06:57.600were around my generation or after orbefore, you were told children to be8000:06:57.800 --> 00:07:04.879seen and not heard. So asa child you didn't have a voice to8100:07:05.399 --> 00:07:10.879not I mean not only to speakup for yourself, but to Um say8200:07:10.959 --> 00:07:17.040something was wrong, but it wasit, but it was contradictory because you8300:07:17.079 --> 00:07:21.839were told in one breath, hey, if somebody does something to you,8400:07:21.839 --> 00:07:26.160you come talk to me, youcome tell me about it, and then8500:07:26.199 --> 00:07:30.560in another breath you were told you'rea child, you are to be seen8600:07:31.680 --> 00:07:45.759and not heard. That's confusing.That's confusing. But those things in turn8700:07:45.800 --> 00:07:50.560carry over because now you've been conditionedto some of these things and these traumas8800:07:50.560 --> 00:07:58.560as a kid and even though someof these things that you moved past as8900:07:58.600 --> 00:08:03.040an adult or the older you've gotten, but they affect you in so many9000:08:03.120 --> 00:08:11.519different other ways. Sometimes we realizethat and sometimes we don't. Sometimes they9100:08:11.519 --> 00:08:16.839come out of US wrong because youhave you've been may have been made to9200:08:16.959 --> 00:08:24.000feel that you can protect yourself oryou had no way to or anything as9300:08:24.040 --> 00:08:31.759a child, and then that inturn becomes anger, then that anger becomes9400:08:31.919 --> 00:08:43.600rage and it can just go outof control as an adult. Now,9500:08:43.600 --> 00:08:50.240I'm not saying that happens or tofix everybody that way. I'm just giving9600:08:50.279 --> 00:08:56.039an example. It could, itcouldn't turn flip into something much worse.9700:09:01.159 --> 00:09:05.799That's one of the things when Isay some childhood Traumas can become adult traumas9800:09:05.919 --> 00:09:09.879or things that you may have hadto push down deep inside of you to9900:09:09.919 --> 00:09:18.879be able to deal with or movepast. But they're still there because we10000:09:18.879 --> 00:09:24.759weren't taught up properly deal with them, or you may just had to figure10100:09:24.799 --> 00:09:26.879out the best of that you candeal with it is push it down,10200:09:28.000 --> 00:09:31.200hold it. They're put it atthe back of your mind and keep it10300:09:31.200 --> 00:09:41.440pushing. But any but we knowthat anything too much of it or apply10400:09:41.559 --> 00:09:46.919too much pressure, something's going tohappen and change. The old saying goes10500:09:46.679 --> 00:09:50.559pressure busses a pipe. But regardlessof whatever the pressures, where it's water10600:09:50.639 --> 00:09:56.320pressure, where it's air pressure,anything, if it has nowhere to go,10700:09:56.600 --> 00:10:00.519if you pushed it down and constantlykept pushing it down and it has10800:10:00.600 --> 00:10:07.519nowhere to go, it's going tohave to come out somewhere and it's gonna10900:10:07.559 --> 00:10:11.399come and when it comes out it'sgoing to damage whatever it's in. If11000:10:11.519 --> 00:10:16.320you feel, if you feel aglass up with water and there's a way11100:10:16.320 --> 00:10:20.360that you could put that glass inand what you stead of pumping water into11200:10:20.440 --> 00:10:24.960it, but there's no way forit to come out. Once it feels11300:10:26.159 --> 00:10:31.759up and you're still pumping that waterin, guess what happens? It's going11400:10:31.799 --> 00:10:37.399to expand at some point. It'sgoing to break that glass because, why,11500:10:37.600 --> 00:10:41.960it has nowhere to go. Andwhen it breaks that glass, what11600:10:41.120 --> 00:10:50.799happens? That glass is now damaged. It's damaged because it's broken because they11700:10:50.840 --> 00:11:05.639had anywhere to go. So itcame out violently. It's damaged. Yeah,11800:11:07.480 --> 00:11:18.879sometimes that's how things come out.It's not a crime to want to11900:11:20.279 --> 00:11:28.240do better or break those generational cursesthat you have or to overcome those things12000:11:28.279 --> 00:11:41.279that harmed us as children. There'sno harm in that. It's because you're12100:11:41.320 --> 00:11:45.279a man and a woman and regardlessof your age, whether you're still in12200:11:45.320 --> 00:11:50.200your twenties, your thirties, yourforties or your fifties, there is no12300:11:50.399 --> 00:11:56.679harm and wanting to deal with thosethings that you've had to overcome, that12400:11:56.720 --> 00:12:03.039you've had to bypass, push down, deal with or whatever case may be,12500:12:03.559 --> 00:12:07.080when you were a kid. Thereis no harm in wanting to get12600:12:07.399 --> 00:12:15.360help for that. You should.You deserve to, because you didn't deserve12700:12:15.440 --> 00:12:24.159those things that you went through,whatever it may be. I'm not pinpointing12800:12:24.200 --> 00:12:33.519anything in specific or in particular,not at all. Trauma, just like12900:12:33.559 --> 00:12:37.159some other things. No, there'snot one any greater than the other.13000:12:37.720 --> 00:12:52.639All are damaging to us some shapeformer fashion. They are, but we13100:12:52.799 --> 00:13:01.200have to stop being afraid to dealwith those things or finding a way to13200:13:01.320 --> 00:13:05.480deal with I mean not not likewe've had to to grow up, you13300:13:05.480 --> 00:13:13.440know, and everything, but totalk to somebody. Gonna sit there before13400:13:13.480 --> 00:13:22.879it so in turn it's not passeddown again inadvertently from you to one of13500:13:22.919 --> 00:13:31.000your children, it's one of yourbabies. It has to stop somewhere.13600:13:33.919 --> 00:13:39.519This is the time for us tobreak these generational curses. It's time for13700:13:39.639 --> 00:13:45.639us to move past two to beable to deal with and overcome all of13800:13:45.639 --> 00:13:50.120these childhood traumas that most of ushave experienced that we still are carrying around.13900:13:52.320 --> 00:13:56.799We shouldn't have to take these thingsto the grave with us. Some14000:13:56.879 --> 00:14:05.759of these things are hindering us fromheaving productive lives, productive relationships, raising14100:14:05.759 --> 00:14:16.279our kids better, living our livesbetter, and it is some of us14200:14:16.679 --> 00:14:20.600and find different ways to cope it, and the way that we may have14300:14:20.600 --> 00:14:24.840had to copy before doesn't work anymoretof then we we turn to something else.14400:14:28.879 --> 00:14:33.360Why? Because we're still not dealingwith it. We have to deal14500:14:33.360 --> 00:14:41.200with these things, people. Wehave to. That's how we're going to14600:14:41.279 --> 00:14:46.799get better as a people. That'show our future, which is our children,14700:14:48.399 --> 00:14:52.759is going to get better once weright that cycle. But it has14800:14:52.799 --> 00:14:56.759to start with us. It's nottoo late. As long as the most14900:14:56.840 --> 00:15:01.360high continuous to give us breadth inour bodies, it is not too late15000:15:01.799 --> 00:15:15.200for us to deal with these things. It's not that's are some things.15100:15:15.200 --> 00:15:18.120Well, I'm too old to dealwith that now, or I'm set in15200:15:18.159 --> 00:15:26.320my ways. No, change isinevitable to us all. I was told15300:15:26.440 --> 00:15:31.159always the only thing that is constant, with the exception of God, the15400:15:31.240 --> 00:15:39.639only thing that is constant in thisworld is change. Sounds Cliche, but15500:15:39.720 --> 00:15:45.480it's true. That is the withthe exception of God himself, that is15600:15:45.519 --> 00:15:52.000the only thing in this world,on this plane of existence, that is15700:15:52.320 --> 00:16:00.639constant change. And every happens,good or bad. It comes and it15800:16:00.759 --> 00:16:10.440happens. It's no stopping it.Bottom line, there is no stopping it.15900:16:11.720 --> 00:16:18.799So what are you gonna do?Are you going to overcome that?16000:16:19.120 --> 00:16:25.200Are you gonna overlook are you goingto move past that? Are you going16100:16:25.279 --> 00:16:33.000to go to someone that you cantalk about, deal with, overcome,16200:16:33.360 --> 00:16:45.440move past and become better for you, your children, your marriage, your16300:16:45.440 --> 00:16:56.919relationships, your job, in yourlife. Think about it here. You16400:16:56.039 --> 00:17:06.079deserve that. I says he wantsto live a life abundantly. How can16500:17:06.160 --> 00:17:23.640you if you're still carrying around aburden of hurts from yesterday? My people,16600:17:23.680 --> 00:17:27.519that's all I'M gonna I'm gonna sayon that today. Like I said,16700:17:27.519 --> 00:17:32.440this wasn't irregular episode. This wassomething, a bonus episode for you16800:17:32.480 --> 00:17:37.200all, something that was just onmy mind, that I wanted to come16900:17:37.240 --> 00:17:41.680talk to you all about, froma conversation that I've had previously, that17000:17:41.759 --> 00:17:44.839I wanted to talk with you allabout, that I wanted to share with17100:17:44.880 --> 00:17:48.440you all, with and I justwanted to drop something into your spirit.17200:17:52.039 --> 00:17:59.079We don't have to continue to dealwith that. There's help out there.17300:18:00.680 --> 00:18:07.599Let's you and me and all ofus cousins and King folks have the courage17400:18:08.480 --> 00:18:25.880and the conviction to break that generationalcurse so we can become better people in17500:18:26.000 --> 00:18:33.279every aspect. I love you alland I want the best for you at17600:18:33.319 --> 00:18:40.680all times, and that will doit for this bonus episode. Of currently17700:18:40.680 --> 00:18:42.319down the construction. You know,we do this thing twice a week.17800:18:42.559 --> 00:18:48.640Again, this was a bonus episode. Um, you can listen to US17900:18:48.680 --> 00:18:51.920wherever you get your podcasts. Whereveryou listen to your podcast. Remember,18000:18:51.960 --> 00:18:56.640you can listen to us on applepodcasts, Google podcasts, spotify, overcast,18100:18:56.759 --> 00:19:03.559pocket cast radio, Public Castro,I heart radio, uh deezer and18200:19:03.599 --> 00:19:08.200many many other platforms. Again,you can listen to us on apple podcasts,18300:19:08.319 --> 00:19:15.200Google podcasts, spotify, overcast,pocket casts radio, Public Castro,18400:19:15.839 --> 00:19:22.079Deezer, I heart radio and manymany others. So again, we got18500:19:22.079 --> 00:19:26.160a whole lot coming up here foryou on currently under construction. Keep your18600:19:26.160 --> 00:19:29.599heir to the ground and be listeningin for it. You never know when18700:19:29.599 --> 00:19:33.359I'm gonna drop a new dime onyou all or Um what I have in18800:19:33.400 --> 00:19:37.359store for you all coming up thissummer. Be on the lookout for that.18900:19:37.000 --> 00:19:42.400Continue to participate and continue to UMsupport us here currently under construction.19000:19:42.480 --> 00:19:45.640The way that you do this isonly that you can. You know why,19100:19:45.920 --> 00:19:51.279because you all are my people.You know our model. Come on,19200:19:51.359 --> 00:19:52.279say it with me. Come onnow, come on, say it19300:19:52.359 --> 00:19:56.799with me. Takes the village forus to do this thing, and you19400:19:56.880 --> 00:20:00.960all all my village and we're goingto continue to put this thing together,19500:20:02.440 --> 00:20:07.759you and I, step by step, one break at a time. Currently19600:20:07.839 --> 00:20:14.079under construction. I love you all. Your regular second episode will be be19700:20:14.279 --> 00:20:17.039coming along here in a couple ofdays. Until then, I talked to19800:20:17.039 --> 00:20:18.920you all soon peace,