Replay/ Dealing with childhood traumas that become adult traumas

WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.679 --> 00:00:04.480 Welcome back. Welcome back, cousins and King folks. It is a new 2 00:00:04.639 --> 00:00:08.519 episode of your favorite podcast in mine, currently under construction. I am your 3 00:00:08.519 --> 00:00:12.119 host, Otis. Thank you so much for joining us today. This is 4 00:00:12.160 --> 00:00:15.919 a bonus episode. I did this. This is technically not your second episode 5 00:00:15.919 --> 00:00:19.960 for this week, but this is a bonus episode. It's just a little 6 00:00:20.000 --> 00:00:23.920 something on my mind and I just want to take take an opportunity to stop 7 00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:28.399 through, talk to my cousins and kin folks, just share a little bit 8 00:00:28.480 --> 00:00:30.879 with you. You know how I do sometimes, y'all. It's stuff be 9 00:00:31.000 --> 00:00:33.759 on my mind. I just gotta get it out. So who do I? 10 00:00:33.799 --> 00:00:37.359 Come talk to him now. Come talk to Y'all, my people, 11 00:00:37.640 --> 00:00:42.119 my folks, my community, my cousins and King folks, and currently under 12 00:00:42.119 --> 00:00:45.880 construction, listing audience. Y'All. Know Y'all, my people and I love 13 00:00:45.960 --> 00:00:52.880 y'All. Yeah, just a few things. This has been on my mind. 14 00:00:52.880 --> 00:00:56.439 I just wanted to run across, but I want to propose a question 15 00:00:56.479 --> 00:01:03.840 to you all. So this is what I want to ask. Dud Does 16 00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:14.200 Childhood TRAUMAS TURN INTO ADULT TRAUMA? I'm gonna come back and say that a 17 00:01:14.319 --> 00:01:26.480 kid does childhood traumas in turn turn into adult trauma. Now, most of 18 00:01:26.560 --> 00:01:30.359 us, I can't say all of us, I have no specific data to 19 00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:34.359 back this up on. We're just going from straight common since y'all, y'all, 20 00:01:34.400 --> 00:01:37.319 know how we do y'all know how we do things, I said. 21 00:01:37.359 --> 00:01:45.120 But most of us have gone through some type of trauma in our childhood life. 22 00:01:46.799 --> 00:01:52.079 Whether it's S S. You know what that means, then you know 23 00:01:52.120 --> 00:01:53.799 what it means. If you don't, we're just gonna leave there where it 24 00:01:53.959 --> 00:02:02.959 is, whether it's that, whether it's child abuse, whether it's mental abuse, 25 00:02:04.480 --> 00:02:09.400 whether it's emotional abuse, whether it's one of these situations that there is 26 00:02:09.759 --> 00:02:17.599 um a generational curse that seems to be going down from generation to generation that 27 00:02:17.680 --> 00:02:24.120 hadn't been broken. All of us have experienced some type of trauma as a 28 00:02:24.240 --> 00:02:30.680 chill, as a child, whether it was by our family, by a 29 00:02:30.840 --> 00:02:37.960 loved one, by your friend, someone around a community, a teacher or 30 00:02:38.039 --> 00:02:46.520 even a stranger. But do those traumas in turn become adult traumas or slash 31 00:02:46.680 --> 00:02:58.439 adult issues? Personally, I think it does. I think if these these 32 00:02:58.520 --> 00:03:02.919 these TRAUMAS aren't dealt with, it can become it can in turn become though 33 00:03:04.919 --> 00:03:10.039 it can be in turn become a problem. For example, if you were 34 00:03:10.080 --> 00:03:15.879 born in my generation, and I do think I'm a part of generation X. 35 00:03:16.960 --> 00:03:22.000 I'm not a baby boomer, I'm not that old. I'm definitely not 36 00:03:22.080 --> 00:03:25.840 a generation why or millennial. I'm too old for that. But I do 37 00:03:27.000 --> 00:03:30.879 think that generation x will be those that were born between nineteen sixty five and, 38 00:03:30.919 --> 00:03:35.159 I believe, nineteen seventy nine or nine eighty seventy four. Baby, 39 00:03:35.479 --> 00:03:38.120 you know how we do. My I still think my generations is one of 40 00:03:38.159 --> 00:03:40.080 the best. But you know, hey, I'm biased. I'm biased. 41 00:03:40.280 --> 00:03:46.159 If a generation stay there, is it's the best. I'm biased. Suit 42 00:03:46.240 --> 00:03:51.159 me. That will be another topic. That will be another subject and that 43 00:03:51.199 --> 00:03:53.360 will be here for debate. Also, we're gonna definitely have somebody on with 44 00:03:53.439 --> 00:04:00.319 us to debate there, because I have a friend that seems to debate whicheration 45 00:04:00.479 --> 00:04:03.039 is the best. Um, they feel that there's this, but again, 46 00:04:03.280 --> 00:04:08.800 that's that's another subject. That's another topic for another day. Will come back 47 00:04:08.840 --> 00:04:13.599 to that. But Um, if you were going around in my generation or 48 00:04:13.639 --> 00:04:16.600 you're close to my age, and I do even feel the generation after mine, 49 00:04:17.240 --> 00:04:21.639 they have the same mindset because they went through something similar. But we 50 00:04:23.160 --> 00:04:27.839 again, and I've spoken on this before, we if something happened to you, 51 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:31.959 it was never dealt with or discussed or even talked about. A lot 52 00:04:32.040 --> 00:04:40.040 of times these things were either overlooked, swept up under the rug Um, 53 00:04:41.199 --> 00:04:45.120 not talked about, or you were just told straight up and look, stop 54 00:04:45.160 --> 00:04:47.759 being punking, you just be a man and you don't you know whatever. 55 00:04:49.399 --> 00:04:55.160 But these things were never dealt with. So, especially as boys, you 56 00:04:55.199 --> 00:04:58.399 know and you know, you were talked to. You had to be tough. 57 00:04:58.519 --> 00:05:02.079 You couldn't show your most. You can show your feelings, you know, 58 00:05:02.160 --> 00:05:06.000 you couldn't cry or anything like that, because that was a sign of 59 00:05:06.079 --> 00:05:11.480 weakness. So you had to be hard and tough in any and everything that 60 00:05:11.560 --> 00:05:15.000 you did, regardless if it hurt you or not. And that's just that's 61 00:05:15.759 --> 00:05:19.879 that's a check the way of thinking. But this is how we were conditioned. 62 00:05:20.879 --> 00:05:26.759 I mean not just even by family members, but just by uh, 63 00:05:26.839 --> 00:05:32.399 our environment and our surroundings as such. You know, our our girls, 64 00:05:32.439 --> 00:05:35.079 we were they were taught to be. You had to be cute, you 65 00:05:35.160 --> 00:05:39.079 got to find a husband, you got to do x, Y Z and 66 00:05:39.120 --> 00:05:42.639 everything like that. And you're not successfunless you find a husband that makes money, 67 00:05:43.079 --> 00:05:47.079 and is this or is that? And and you're a girl and you're 68 00:05:47.399 --> 00:05:51.560 you're supposed to be frail and whatever the case may be. And as far 69 00:05:51.639 --> 00:05:58.879 from the truth. A lot of these things that we were raised in my 70 00:05:58.959 --> 00:06:03.240 generation as far from the truth. So like if I got punched in the 71 00:06:03.399 --> 00:06:06.800 chest as a kid and it mis hurt, it might have noted to win 72 00:06:06.879 --> 00:06:10.560 out of me. So the first thing that I would sit there and told 73 00:06:10.720 --> 00:06:15.519 was, I'll suck it up, you a man, get up to. 74 00:06:15.680 --> 00:06:17.680 Just punched me in my chest. You just punched me in my diaphragm. 75 00:06:17.680 --> 00:06:27.000 That mis hurt. But again, weren't allowed to be shown weakness. You 76 00:06:27.079 --> 00:06:38.519 weren't allowed to say that hurt. A lot of us even were exposed or 77 00:06:39.079 --> 00:06:46.480 two things that may have hurt US emotionally from my family and our loved ones, 78 00:06:46.560 --> 00:06:50.480 but we weren't allowed to speak about it because, again, if you 79 00:06:50.519 --> 00:06:57.600 were around my generation or after or before, you were told children to be 80 00:06:57.800 --> 00:07:04.879 seen and not heard. So as a child you didn't have a voice to 81 00:07:05.399 --> 00:07:10.879 not I mean not only to speak up for yourself, but to Um say 82 00:07:10.959 --> 00:07:17.040 something was wrong, but it was it, but it was contradictory because you 83 00:07:17.079 --> 00:07:21.839 were told in one breath, hey, if somebody does something to you, 84 00:07:21.839 --> 00:07:26.160 you come talk to me, you come tell me about it, and then 85 00:07:26.199 --> 00:07:30.560 in another breath you were told you're a child, you are to be seen 86 00:07:31.680 --> 00:07:45.759 and not heard. That's confusing. That's confusing. But those things in turn 87 00:07:45.800 --> 00:07:50.560 carry over because now you've been conditioned to some of these things and these traumas 88 00:07:50.560 --> 00:07:58.560 as a kid and even though some of these things that you moved past as 89 00:07:58.600 --> 00:08:03.040 an adult or the older you've gotten, but they affect you in so many 90 00:08:03.120 --> 00:08:11.519 different other ways. Sometimes we realize that and sometimes we don't. Sometimes they 91 00:08:11.519 --> 00:08:16.839 come out of US wrong because you have you've been may have been made to 92 00:08:16.959 --> 00:08:24.000 feel that you can protect yourself or you had no way to or anything as 93 00:08:24.040 --> 00:08:31.759 a child, and then that in turn becomes anger, then that anger becomes 94 00:08:31.919 --> 00:08:43.600 rage and it can just go out of control as an adult. Now, 95 00:08:43.600 --> 00:08:50.240 I'm not saying that happens or to fix everybody that way. I'm just giving 96 00:08:50.279 --> 00:08:56.039 an example. It could, it couldn't turn flip into something much worse. 97 00:09:01.159 --> 00:09:05.799 That's one of the things when I say some childhood Traumas can become adult traumas 98 00:09:05.919 --> 00:09:09.879 or things that you may have had to push down deep inside of you to 99 00:09:09.919 --> 00:09:18.879 be able to deal with or move past. But they're still there because we 100 00:09:18.879 --> 00:09:24.759 weren't taught up properly deal with them, or you may just had to figure 101 00:09:24.799 --> 00:09:26.879 out the best of that you can deal with it is push it down, 102 00:09:28.000 --> 00:09:31.200 hold it. They're put it at the back of your mind and keep it 103 00:09:31.200 --> 00:09:41.440 pushing. But any but we know that anything too much of it or apply 104 00:09:41.559 --> 00:09:46.919 too much pressure, something's going to happen and change. The old saying goes 105 00:09:46.679 --> 00:09:50.559 pressure busses a pipe. But regardless of whatever the pressures, where it's water 106 00:09:50.639 --> 00:09:56.320 pressure, where it's air pressure, anything, if it has nowhere to go, 107 00:09:56.600 --> 00:10:00.519 if you pushed it down and constantly kept pushing it down and it has 108 00:10:00.600 --> 00:10:07.519 nowhere to go, it's going to have to come out somewhere and it's gonna 109 00:10:07.559 --> 00:10:11.399 come and when it comes out it's going to damage whatever it's in. If 110 00:10:11.519 --> 00:10:16.320 you feel, if you feel a glass up with water and there's a way 111 00:10:16.320 --> 00:10:20.360 that you could put that glass in and what you stead of pumping water into 112 00:10:20.440 --> 00:10:24.960 it, but there's no way for it to come out. Once it feels 113 00:10:26.159 --> 00:10:31.759 up and you're still pumping that water in, guess what happens? It's going 114 00:10:31.799 --> 00:10:37.399 to expand at some point. It's going to break that glass because, why, 115 00:10:37.600 --> 00:10:41.960 it has nowhere to go. And when it breaks that glass, what 116 00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:50.799 happens? That glass is now damaged. It's damaged because it's broken because they 117 00:10:50.840 --> 00:11:05.639 had anywhere to go. So it came out violently. It's damaged. Yeah, 118 00:11:07.480 --> 00:11:18.879 sometimes that's how things come out. It's not a crime to want to 119 00:11:20.279 --> 00:11:28.240 do better or break those generational curses that you have or to overcome those things 120 00:11:28.279 --> 00:11:41.279 that harmed us as children. There's no harm in that. It's because you're 121 00:11:41.320 --> 00:11:45.279 a man and a woman and regardless of your age, whether you're still in 122 00:11:45.320 --> 00:11:50.200 your twenties, your thirties, your forties or your fifties, there is no 123 00:11:50.399 --> 00:11:56.679 harm and wanting to deal with those things that you've had to overcome, that 124 00:11:56.720 --> 00:12:03.039 you've had to bypass, push down, deal with or whatever case may be, 125 00:12:03.559 --> 00:12:07.080 when you were a kid. There is no harm in wanting to get 126 00:12:07.399 --> 00:12:15.360 help for that. You should. You deserve to, because you didn't deserve 127 00:12:15.440 --> 00:12:24.159 those things that you went through, whatever it may be. I'm not pinpointing 128 00:12:24.200 --> 00:12:33.519 anything in specific or in particular, not at all. Trauma, just like 129 00:12:33.559 --> 00:12:37.159 some other things. No, there's not one any greater than the other. 130 00:12:37.720 --> 00:12:52.639 All are damaging to us some shape former fashion. They are, but we 131 00:12:52.799 --> 00:13:01.200 have to stop being afraid to deal with those things or finding a way to 132 00:13:01.320 --> 00:13:05.480 deal with I mean not not like we've had to to grow up, you 133 00:13:05.480 --> 00:13:13.440 know, and everything, but to talk to somebody. Gonna sit there before 134 00:13:13.480 --> 00:13:22.879 it so in turn it's not passed down again inadvertently from you to one of 135 00:13:22.919 --> 00:13:31.000 your children, it's one of your babies. It has to stop somewhere. 136 00:13:33.919 --> 00:13:39.519 This is the time for us to break these generational curses. It's time for 137 00:13:39.639 --> 00:13:45.639 us to move past two to be able to deal with and overcome all of 138 00:13:45.639 --> 00:13:50.120 these childhood traumas that most of us have experienced that we still are carrying around. 139 00:13:52.320 --> 00:13:56.799 We shouldn't have to take these things to the grave with us. Some 140 00:13:56.879 --> 00:14:05.759 of these things are hindering us from heaving productive lives, productive relationships, raising 141 00:14:05.759 --> 00:14:16.279 our kids better, living our lives better, and it is some of us 142 00:14:16.679 --> 00:14:20.600 and find different ways to cope it, and the way that we may have 143 00:14:20.600 --> 00:14:24.840 had to copy before doesn't work anymoret of then we we turn to something else. 144 00:14:28.879 --> 00:14:33.360 Why? Because we're still not dealing with it. We have to deal 145 00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:41.200 with these things, people. We have to. That's how we're going to 146 00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:46.799 get better as a people. That's how our future, which is our children, 147 00:14:48.399 --> 00:14:52.759 is going to get better once we right that cycle. But it has 148 00:14:52.799 --> 00:14:56.759 to start with us. It's not too late. As long as the most 149 00:14:56.840 --> 00:15:01.360 high continuous to give us breadth in our bodies, it is not too late 150 00:15:01.799 --> 00:15:15.200 for us to deal with these things. It's not that's are some things. 151 00:15:15.200 --> 00:15:18.120 Well, I'm too old to deal with that now, or I'm set in 152 00:15:18.159 --> 00:15:26.320 my ways. No, change is inevitable to us all. I was told 153 00:15:26.440 --> 00:15:31.159 always the only thing that is constant, with the exception of God, the 154 00:15:31.240 --> 00:15:39.639 only thing that is constant in this world is change. Sounds Cliche, but 155 00:15:39.720 --> 00:15:45.480 it's true. That is the with the exception of God himself, that is 156 00:15:45.519 --> 00:15:52.000 the only thing in this world, on this plane of existence, that is 157 00:15:52.320 --> 00:16:00.639 constant change. And every happens, good or bad. It comes and it 158 00:16:00.759 --> 00:16:10.440 happens. It's no stopping it. Bottom line, there is no stopping it. 159 00:16:11.720 --> 00:16:18.799 So what are you gonna do? Are you going to overcome that? 160 00:16:19.120 --> 00:16:25.200 Are you gonna overlook are you going to move past that? Are you going 161 00:16:25.279 --> 00:16:33.000 to go to someone that you can talk about, deal with, overcome, 162 00:16:33.360 --> 00:16:45.440 move past and become better for you, your children, your marriage, your 163 00:16:45.440 --> 00:16:56.919 relationships, your job, in your life. Think about it here. You 164 00:16:56.039 --> 00:17:06.079 deserve that. I says he wants to live a life abundantly. How can 165 00:17:06.160 --> 00:17:23.640 you if you're still carrying around a burden of hurts from yesterday? My people, 166 00:17:23.680 --> 00:17:27.519 that's all I'M gonna I'm gonna say on that today. Like I said, 167 00:17:27.519 --> 00:17:32.440 this wasn't irregular episode. This was something, a bonus episode for you 168 00:17:32.480 --> 00:17:37.200 all, something that was just on my mind, that I wanted to come 169 00:17:37.240 --> 00:17:41.680 talk to you all about, from a conversation that I've had previously, that 170 00:17:41.759 --> 00:17:44.839 I wanted to talk with you all about, that I wanted to share with 171 00:17:44.880 --> 00:17:48.440 you all, with and I just wanted to drop something into your spirit. 172 00:17:52.039 --> 00:17:59.079 We don't have to continue to deal with that. There's help out there. 173 00:18:00.680 --> 00:18:07.599 Let's you and me and all of us cousins and King folks have the courage 174 00:18:08.480 --> 00:18:25.880 and the conviction to break that generational curse so we can become better people in 175 00:18:26.000 --> 00:18:33.279 every aspect. I love you all and I want the best for you at 176 00:18:33.319 --> 00:18:40.680 all times, and that will do it for this bonus episode. Of currently 177 00:18:40.680 --> 00:18:42.319 down the construction. You know, we do this thing twice a week. 178 00:18:42.559 --> 00:18:48.640 Again, this was a bonus episode. Um, you can listen to US 179 00:18:48.680 --> 00:18:51.920 wherever you get your podcasts. Wherever you listen to your podcast. Remember, 180 00:18:51.960 --> 00:18:56.640 you can listen to us on apple podcasts, Google podcasts, spotify, overcast, 181 00:18:56.759 --> 00:19:03.559 pocket cast radio, Public Castro, I heart radio, uh deezer and 182 00:19:03.599 --> 00:19:08.200 many many other platforms. Again, you can listen to us on apple podcasts, 183 00:19:08.319 --> 00:19:15.200 Google podcasts, spotify, overcast, pocket casts radio, Public Castro, 184 00:19:15.839 --> 00:19:22.079 Deezer, I heart radio and many many others. So again, we got 185 00:19:22.079 --> 00:19:26.160 a whole lot coming up here for you on currently under construction. Keep your 186 00:19:26.160 --> 00:19:29.599 heir to the ground and be listening in for it. You never know when 187 00:19:29.599 --> 00:19:33.359 I'm gonna drop a new dime on you all or Um what I have in 188 00:19:33.400 --> 00:19:37.359 store for you all coming up this summer. Be on the lookout for that. 189 00:19:37.000 --> 00:19:42.400 Continue to participate and continue to UM support us here currently under construction. 190 00:19:42.480 --> 00:19:45.640 The way that you do this is only that you can. You know why, 191 00:19:45.920 --> 00:19:51.279 because you all are my people. You know our model. Come on, 192 00:19:51.359 --> 00:19:52.279 say it with me. Come on now, come on, say it 193 00:19:52.359 --> 00:19:56.799 with me. Takes the village for us to do this thing, and you 194 00:19:56.880 --> 00:20:00.960 all all my village and we're going to continue to put this thing together, 195 00:20:02.440 --> 00:20:07.759 you and I, step by step, one break at a time. Currently 196 00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:14.079 under construction. I love you all. Your regular second episode will be be 197 00:20:14.279 --> 00:20:17.039 coming along here in a couple of days. Until then, I talked to 198 00:20:17.039 --> 00:20:18.920 you all soon peace,